Quotes4study

[We] use bad software and bad machines for the wrong things.

R.W. Hamming

In the early twenty-first century, as criminals figured out ways to monetize their malicious software through identity theft and other techniques, the number of new viruses began to soar. By 2015, the volume had become astonishing. In 2010, the German research institute AV-Test had assessed that there were forty-nine million strains of computer malware in the wild. By 2011, the antivirus company McAfee reported it was identifying two million new pieces of malware every month. In the summer of 2013, the cyber-security firm Kaspersky Lab reported it identified and isolated nearly 200,000 new malware samples every single day.

Marc Goodman

It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.

Nathaniel S. Borenstein

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

F. Brooks, "The Mythical Man-Month"

Given its constituency, the only thing I expect to be "open" about [the

Open Software Foundation] is its mouth.

"If you want to eat hippopatomus, you've got to pay the freight."

attributed to an IBM guy, about why IBM software uses so much memory

Most public domain software is free, at least at first glance.

Unknown

Writing software is more fun than working.

Unknown

"Those who will be able to conquer software will be able to conquer the

world."

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Rick Cook

A successful [software] tool is one that was used to do something

undreamed of by its author. -- S. C. Johnson

No hardware designer should be allowed to produce any piece of hardware

until three software guys have signed off for it.

If in my lifetime the problem of non-free software is solved, I could perhaps relax and write software again. But I might instead try to help deal with the world's larger problems. Standing up to an evil system is exhilarating, and now I have a taste for it.

Richard Stallman (born 16 March 1953

"More software projects have gone awry for lack of calendar time than for all

other causes combined."

"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."

- C. A. R. Hoare

Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to

be discarded: that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?

I was frustrated that computer hardware was being improved faster than computer software. I wanted to invent some software that was completely different, that would grow and change as it was used. That’s how wiki came about.

Ward Cunningham

Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.

Mosher's Law of Software Engineering

There are two ways to construct a software design. Make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies; or make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.

Unknown

>Software production is assumed to be a line function, but it is run

like a staff function.

Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development.

Unknown

Almost anything derogatory you could say about today's software design

would be accurate. -- K.E. Iverson

The only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less.

David Emery

Overall, the philosophy is to attack the availability problem from two

complementary directions:  to reduce the number of software errors through

rigorous testing of running systems, and to reduce the effect of the remaining

errors by providing for recovery from them.  An interesting footnote to this

design is that now a system failure can usually be considered to be the

result of two program errors:  the first, in the program that started the

problem; the second, in the recovery routine that could not protect the

system.

        -- A. L. Scherr, "Functional Structure of IBM Virtual Storage

           Operating Systems, Part II: OS/VS-2 Concepts and

           Philosophies," IBM Systems Journal, Vol. 12, No. 4.

Fortune Cookie

    We don't claim Interactive EasyFlow is good for anything -- if you

think it is, great, but it's up to you to decide.  If Interactive EasyFlow

doesn't work: tough.  If you lose a million because Interactive EasyFlow

messes up, it's you that's out the million, not us.  If you don't like this

disclaimer: tough.  We reserve the right to do the absolute minimum provided

by law, up to and including nothing.

    This is basically the same disclaimer that comes with all software</p>

packages, but ours is in plain English and theirs is in legalese.

    We didn't really want to include any disclaimer at all, but our

lawyers insisted.  We tried to ignore them but they threatened us with the

attack shark at which point we relented.

        -- Haven Tree Software Limited, "Interactive EasyFlow"

Fortune Cookie

Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of

reliable, well-engineered commercial software?

        -- Matt Welsh

Fortune Cookie

X windows:

    Something you can be ashamed of.

    30% more entropy than the leading window system.

    The first fully modular software disaster.

    Rome was destroyed in a day.

    Warn your friends about it.

    Climbing to new depths.  Sinking to new heights.

    An accident that couldn't wait to happen.

    Don't wait for the movie.

    Never use it after a big meal.

    Need we say less?

    Plumbing the depths of human incompetence.

    It'll make your day.

    Don't get frustrated without it.

    Power tools for power losers.

    A software disaster of Biblical proportions.

    Never had it.  Never will.

    The software with no visible means of support.

    More than just a generation behind.

Hindenburg.  Titanic.  Edsel.

    X windows.

Fortune Cookie

Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment.

        -- seen in a posting in comp.software.testing

Fortune Cookie

Any reproduction or redistribution of the Software not in accordance with the

License Agreement is expressly prohibited by law, and may result in severe

civil and criminal penalties.

Fortune Cookie

Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and

greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any

moment.  They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that

systems could be virtual at *___all* levels.  They would like personal

computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your

DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their

Correctness Verification Aid packages.

Fortune Cookie

In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable.

Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?

        -- Hasse Skrifvars, hasku@rost.abo.fi,

Fortune Cookie

>Software is like sex; it's better when it's free.

        -- Linus Torvalds

Fortune Cookie

"More software projects have gone awry for lack of calendar time than for all

 other causes combined."

        -- Fred Brooks, Jr., _The Mythical Man Month_

Fortune Cookie

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because

God is not capricious or arbitrary.  No such faith comforts the software</p>

engineer.

        -- Fred Brooks

Fortune Cookie

Bagbiter:

    1. n.; Equipment or program that fails, usually intermittently.  2.

adj.: Failing hardware or software.  "This bagbiting system won't let me get

out of spacewar." Usage: verges on obscenity.  Grammatically separable; one

may speak of "biting the bag".  Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS,

BLETCHEROUS, BARFUCIOUS, CHOMPER, CHOMPING.

Fortune Cookie

I never thought that I'd see the day where Netscape is free software and

X11 is proprietary.  We live in interesting times.

        -- Matt Kimball <mkimball@xmission.com>

Fortune Cookie

<evilkalla> heh, I never took a coding class

<evilkalla> or a graphics class

<evilkalla> or a software design class

<vegan> and it shows :P

Fortune Cookie

Martin was probably ripping them off.  That's some family, isn't it?

Incest, prostitution, fanaticism, software.

        -- Charles Willeford, "Miami Blues"

Fortune Cookie

>Software is like sex, it's better when it's free.     -- Linus Torvalds

Fortune Cookie

LOGO for the Dead

LOGO for the Dead lets you continue your computing activities from

"The Other Side."

The package includes a unique telecommunications feature which lets you

turn your TRS-80 into an electronic Ouija board.  Then, using Logo's

graphics capabilities, you can work with a friend or relative on this

side of the Great Beyond to write programs.  The software requires that

your body be hardwired to an analog-to-digital converter, which is then

interfaced to your computer.  A special terminal (very terminal) program

lets you talk with the users through Deadnet, an EBBS (Ectoplasmic

Bulletin Board System).

LOGO for the Dead is available for 10 percent of your estate

from NecroSoft inc., 6502 Charnelhouse Blvd., Cleveland, OH 44101.

        -- '80 Microcomputing

Fortune Cookie

...the increased productivity fostered by a friendly environment and quality

tools is essential to meet ever increasing demands for software.

        -- M. D. McIlroy, E. N. Pinson and B. A. Tague

Fortune Cookie

The three biggest software lies:

    (1) *Of course* we'll give you a copy of the source.

    (2) *Of course* the third party vendor we bought that from

        will fix the microcode.

    (3) Beta test site?  No, *of course* you're not a beta test site.

Fortune Cookie

... that the notions of "hardware", and "software" should be extended by

the notion of LIVEWARE - being that which produces software for use on

hardware.  This produces an obvious extension to the concept of MONITORS.

A liveware monitor is a person dedicated to the task of ensuring that the

liveware does not interfere with the real-time processes, invoking the

REAL-TIME EXECUTIONER to delete liveware that adversely affects ...

        -- Linden and Wihelminalaan

Fortune Cookie

"What is the Nature of God?"

    CLICK...CLICK...WHIRRR...CLICK...=BEEP!=

    1 QT. SOUR CREAM

    1 TSP. SAUERKRAUT

    1/2 CUT CHIVES.

    STIR AND SPRINKLE WITH BACON BITS.

"I've just GOT to start labeling my software..."

        -- Bloom County

Fortune Cookie

 

ACTON'S LAW

Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.

ALBRECHT'S LAW

Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.

ALLEN'S (or CANN'S) AXIOM

When all else fails, read the instructions.

BOREN'S FIRST LAW

When in doubt, mumble.

BOVE'S THEOREM

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

BOWIE'S THEOREM

If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

BROOK'S LAW

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

CANADA BILL JONES' MOTTO

It's morally wrong to allow naive end users to keep their money.

CANN'S (or ALLEN'S) AXIOM

When all else fails, read the instructions.

CARLSON'S CONSOLATION

Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

CLARKE'S THIRD LAW

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

COLE'S LAW

Thinly sliced cabbage.

COHN'S LAW

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.

CONWAY'S LAW

In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

LAW OF CONTINUITY

Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.

CORRESPONDENCE COROLLARY

An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory.

CROPP'S LAW

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

CUTLER WEBSTER'S LAW

There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one.

DEADLINE-DAN'S DEMO DEMONSTRATION

The higher the "higher-ups" are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

DEMIAN'S OBSERVATION

There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE".

DENNISTON'S LAW

Virtue is its own punishment.

DOW'S LAW

In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

DR. CALIGARI'S COME-BACK

A bad sector disk error occurs only after you've done several hours of work without performing a backup.

ESTRIDGE'S LAW

No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine it.

FINAGLE'S LAWS

1) Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

2) No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it.

3) No matter what the result, someone is always eager to misinterpret it.

4) No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory.

FINAGLE'S RULES

1) To study an application best, understand it thoroughly before you start.

2) Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.

3) Always draw your curves, then plot the reading.

4) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

5) Program results should always be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.

6) Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

FINSTER'S LAW

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

FIRST RULE OF HISTORY

History doesn't repeat itself --- historians merely repeat each other.

FRANKLIN'S PARAPHRASE OF POPE'S LAW

Praised be the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will never be disappointed.

GILB'S LAWS OF UNRELIABILITY

1) At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.

2) Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

3) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

4) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.

GLYME'S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

THE GOLDEN RULE

Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

GOLD'S LAW

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

GORDON'S FIRST LAW

If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

GOVERNMENT'S LAW

There is an exception to all laws.

GREEN'S LAW OF DEBATE

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

GUMMIDGES'S LAW

The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

GUMPERSON'S LAW

The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

HANLON'S RAZOR

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

HARP'S COROLLARY TO ESTRIDGE'S LAW

Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment.

HARRISON'S POSTULATE

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

HELLER'S LAW

The first myth of management is that it exists.

HINDS' LAW OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING

1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

2) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

3) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

4) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.

5) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

6) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

7) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, andyou will find that programmers cannot write in English.

HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROGRAMS

Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

HOPPER'S AXIOM (Admiral Grace Hopper, USN, who discovered the first computer "bug" in the 1940's---an actual insect)

It's better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.

HUBBARD'S LAW

Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive.

JENKINSON'S LAW

It won't work.

JOHNSON-LAIRD'S LAW

Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night.

LARKINSON'S LAW

All laws are basically false.

THE LAST ONE'S LAW OF PROGRAM GENERATORS

A program generator creates programs that are more "buggy" than the program generator.

LIEBERMAN'S LAW

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

LYNCH'S LAW

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

MASON'S FIRST LAW OF SYNERGISM

The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.

MAY'S LAW

The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density of control. (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)

MENCKEN'S LAW

There is always an easy answer to every human problem --- neat, plausible, and wrong.

MESKIMEN'S LAW

There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.

MUIR'S LAW

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

MURPHY'S LAWS

1) If anything can go wrong, it will (and at the worst possible moment).

2) Nothing is as easy as it looks.

3) Everything takes longer than you think it will.

MURPHY'S FOURTH LAW

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

MURPHY'S LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS

1) You can't win,

2) You can't break even,

3) And you can't get out of the game.

ALSO: Things get worse under pressure.

NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES

The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

NIXON'S THEOREM

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

NOLAN'S PLACEBO

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

OLIVER'S LAW OF LOCATION

No matter where you are, there you are.

O'REILLY'S LAW OF THE KITCHEN

Cleanliness is next to impossible.

OSBORN'S LAW

Variables won't, constants aren't.

O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW

Murphy was an optimist.

PARKINSON'S LAW

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

PARKINSON'S LAW (MODIFIED)

The components you have will expand to fill the available space.

PEER'S LAW

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

PETER'S PRINCIPLE

In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of his incompetence.

THE LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF NATURE

You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

PUDDER'S LAW

Anything that begins well will end badly. [Note: The converse of Pudder's law is not true.]

RHODE'S COROLLARY TO HOARE'S LAW

Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to be free.

ROBERT E. LEE'S TRUCE

Judgment comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgment.

RUDIN'S LAW

In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.

RULE OF ACCURACY

When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer.

RYAN'S LAW

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

SATTINGER'S LAW

It works better if you plug it in.

SAUSAGE PRINCIPLE

People who love sausage and respect the law should watch neither being made.

SHAW'S PRINCIPLE

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

SNAFU EQUATIONS

1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns.

2) The object or bit of information most needed will be the least available.

3) The device requiring service or adjustment will be the least accessible.

4) Interchangeable devices aren't.

5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.

6) Badness comes in waves.

STEWART'S LAW OF RETROACTION

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

THOREAU'S THEORIES OF ADAPTATION

1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure.

2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar "bug" in the system, the system is revised, the "bug" taken away, and you're left with a useless routine.

3) Efforts in improving a program's "user friendliness" invariably lead to work in improving user's "computer literacy".

4) That's not a "bug", that's a feature!

THYME'S LAW

Everything goes wrong at once.

THE LAW OF THE TOO SOLID GOOF

In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct beyond all need of checking are the figures that contain the errors.

Corollary 1: No one you ask for help will see the error either.

Corollary 2: Any nagging intruder, who stops by with unsought advice, will spot it immediately.

UNNAMED LAW

If it happens, it must be possible.

WEILER'S LAW

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work.

WEINBERG'S COROLLARY

An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

WEINBERG'S LAW

If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

WHITEHEAD'S LAW

The obvious answer is always overlooked.

WILCOX'S LAW

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

WOOD'S AXIOM

As soon as a still-to-be-finished computer task becomes a life-or-death situation, the power fails.

WOODWARD'S LAW

A theory is better than its explanation.

ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS

Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.

Fortune Cookie

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