Quotes4study

I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

Unknown

All your files have been destroyed (sorry).  Paul.

Unknown

The relative importance of files depends on their cost in terms of the

human effort needed to regenerate them.

Mommy, what happens to your files when you die?

Unknown

HEAD CRASH!!  ;FILES LOST!!

Details at 11.

Your files are now being encrypted and thrown into the bit bucket.

EOF

I, the heir of all the ages, in the foremost files of time.

ALFRED TENNYSON. 1809- ----.     _Locksley Hall. Line 178._

McReynolds emphatically shook his head. “No way. Legal’s all over that deal. It’s squeaky clean. Even the woman signed off. Trammel. I could make her a three-hundred-pound whore who likes black dick in the movie and she couldn’t do a thing about it. That deal is perfect.” “Yeah, well, what Legal’s missed is the part about neither one of them having the rights to the story to sell you in the first place. Those rights happen to reside here with me. Trammel signed them over to me before Dahl came along and took second position. He thought he could move up one by stealing the original contracts out of my files. Only that’s not going to work. I’ve got a witness to the theft and Dahl’s fingerprints. He’s going to go down on fraud and theft charges and your choice here is to decide whether you want to go down

Michael Connelly

God hath many sharp-cutting instruments and rough files for the polishing of His jewels.

_Leighton._

The sendmail configuration file is one of those files that looks like someone

beat their head on the keyboard.  After working with it... I can see why!

        -- Harry Skelton

Fortune Cookie

Mr. Rockford?  This is Betty Joe Withers.  I got four shirts of yours from

the Bo Peep Cleaners by mistake.  I don't know why they gave me men's

shirts but they're going back.

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

Mr. Rockford?  Miss Collins from the Bureau of Licenses.  We got your

renewal before the extended deadline but not your check.  I'm sorry but

at midnight you're no longer licensed as an investigator.

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

By the way, I can hardly feel sorry for you... All last night I had to listen

to her tears, so great they were redirected to a stream.  What?  Of _course_

you didn't know.  You and your little group no longer have any permissions

around here.  She changed her .lock files, too.

        -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd

Fortune Cookie

Jim, this is Janelle.  I'm flying tonight, so I can't make our date, and

I gotta find a safe place for Daffy.  He loves you, Jim!  It's only two

days, and you'll see.  Great Danes are no problem!

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

Mr. Rockford?  You don't know me, but I'd like to hire you.  Could

you call me at...  My name is... uh...  Never mind, forget it!

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

**** IMPORTANT ****  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ****

Due to a recent systems overload error your recent disk files have been

erased.  Therefore, in accordance with the UNIX Basic Manual, University of

Washington Geophysics Manual, and Bylaw 9(c), Section XII of the Revised

Federal Communications Act, you are being granted Temporary Disk Space,

valid for three months from this date, subject to the restrictions set forth

in Appendix II of the Federal Communications Handbook (18th edition) as well

as the references mentioned herein.  You may apply for more disk space at any

time.  Disk usage in or above the eighth percentile will secure the removal

of all restrictions and you will immediately receive your permanent disk

space.  Disk usage in the sixth or seventh percentile will not effect the

validity of your temporary disk space, though its expiration date may be

extended for a period of up to three months.  A score in the fifth percentile

or below will result in the withdrawal of your Temporary Disk space.

Fortune Cookie

Mr. Rockford, this is the Thomas Crown School of Dance and Contemporary

Etiquette.  We aren't going to call again!  Now you want these free

lessons or what?

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

Jim, it's Grace at the bank.  I checked your Christmas Club account.

You don't have five-hundred dollars.  You have fifty.  Sorry, computer foul-up!

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

Jim, it's Jack.  I'm at the airport.  I'm going to Tokyo and wanna pay

you the five-hundred I owe you.  Catch you next year when I get back!

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

This is the Baron.  Angel Martin tells me you buy information.  Ok,

meet me at one a.m. behind the bus depot, bring five-hundred dollars

and come alone.  I'm serious!

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

And we can always supply them with a program that makes identical files</p>

into links to a single file.

        -- Larry Wall in <199709292012.NAA09616@wall.org>

Fortune Cookie

> I thing you're missing the capability of Makefiles.

        It takes several _hours_ to do `make' a second time on my

machine with the latest glibc sources (and no files are recompiled a

second time).  I think I'll remove `build' after changing one file if

I want to recompile it.

        -- Juan Cespedes <cespedes@debian.org>

Fortune Cookie

The rules:

     (1) Thou shalt not worship other computer systems.

     (2) Thou shalt not impersonate Liberace or eat watermelon while

          sitting at the console keyboard.

     (3) Thou shalt not slap users on the face, nor staple their silly

         little card decks together.

     (4) Thou shalt not get physically involved with the computer system,

         especially if you're already married.

     (5) Thou shalt not use magnetic tapes as frisbees, nor use a disk

         pack as a stool to reach another disk pack.

     (6) Thou shalt not stare at the blinking lights for more than one

         eight hour shift.

     (7) Thou shalt not tell users that you accidentally destroyed their

         files/backup just to see the look on their little faces.

     (8) Thou shalt not enjoy cancelling a job.

     (9) Thou shalt not display firearms in the computer room.

    (10) Thou shalt not push buttons "just to see what happens".

Fortune Cookie

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

        -- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"

Fortune Cookie

The relative importance of files depends on their cost in terms of the

human effort needed to regenerate them.

        -- T. A. Dolotta

Fortune Cookie

As part of an ongoing effort to keep you, the Fortune reader, abreast of

the valuable information that daily crosses the USENET, Fortune presents:

News articles that answer *your* questions, #1:

    Newsgroups: comp.sources.d

    Subject: how do I run C code received from sources

    Keywords: C sources

    Distribution: na

    I do not know how to run the C programs that are posted in the

    sources newsgroup.  I save the files, edit them to remove the

    headers, and change the mode so that they are executable, but I

    cannot get them to run.  (I have never written a C program before.)

    Must they be compiled?  With what compiler?  How do I do this?  If

    I compile them, is an object code file generated or must I generate

    it explicitly with the > character?  Is there something else that

    must be done?

Fortune Cookie

Making files is easy under the UNIX operating system.  Therefore, users

tend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space.  It has

been said that the only standard thing about all UNIX systems is the

message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files.

        -- System V.2 administrator's guide

Fortune Cookie

Alan E. Davis: Some files at llug.sep.bnl.gov/pub/debian/Incoming are

stamped on 10 January 1998.  As I write, nowhere on Earth is it now 10 January.

Craig Sanders: That just proves how advanced debian is, doesn't it :-)

        -- debian-devel

Fortune Cookie

=== This letter is the Honor System Virus ====

If you are running a Macintosh, OS/2, Unix, or

Linux computer, please randomly delete

several files from your hard disk drive and

forward this message to everyone you know.

==============================================

Fortune Cookie

Nine megs for the secretaries fair,

Seven megs for the hackers scarce,

Five megs for the grads in smoky lairs,

Three megs for system source;

One disk to rule them all,

One disk to bind them,

One disk to hold the files</p>

And in the darkness grind 'em.

Fortune Cookie

"If you weren't my teacher, I'd think you just deleted all my files."

-- an anonymous UCB CS student, to an instructor who had typed "rm -i *" to

   get rid of a file named "-f" on a Unix system.

Fortune Cookie

    UNIX Shell is the Best Fourth Generation Programming Language

    It is the UNIX shell that makes it possible to do applications in a small

    fraction of the code and time it takes in third generation languages.  In

    the shell you process whole files at a time, instead of only a line at a

    time.  And, a line of code in the UNIX shell is one or more programs,

    which do more than pages of instructions in a 3GL.  Applications can be

    developed in hours and days, rather than months and years with traditional

    systems.  Most of the other 4GLs available today look more like COBOL or

    RPG, the most tedious of the third generation languages.

"UNIX Relational Database Management:  Application Development in the UNIX

 Environment" by Rod Manis, Evan Schaffer, and Robert Jorgensen.  Prentice

 Hall Software Series.  Brian Kerrighan, Advisor.  1988.

Fortune Cookie

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

You can tune a filesystem, but you can't tuna fish.

        -- from the tunefs(8) man page

Fortune Cookie

This is Jim Rockford.

At the tone leave your name and message; I'll get back to you.

This is Maria, Liberty Bail Bonds.  Your client, Todd Lieman, skipped and

his bail is forfeit.  That's the pink slip on your '74 Firebird, I believe.

Sorry, Jim, bring it on over.

This is Marilyn Reed, I wanta talk to you...  Is this a machine?  I don't

talk to machines!  [Click]

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

Graphics blind the eyes.

Audio files deafen the ear.

Mouse clicks numb the fingers.

Heuristics weaken the mind.

Options wither the heart.

The Guru observes the net

but trusts his inner vision.

He allows things to come and go.

His heart is as open as the ether.

Fortune Cookie

Your files are now being encrypted and thrown into the bit bucket.

EOF

Fortune Cookie

MAFIA, n:

    [Acronym for Mechanized Applications in Forced Insurance

Accounting.] An extensive network with many on-line and offshore

subsystems running under OS, DOS, and IOS.  MAFIA documentation is

rather scanty, and the MAFIA sales office exhibits that testy

reluctance to bona fide inquiries which is the hallmark of so many DP

operations.  From the little that has seeped out, it would appear that

MAFIA operates under a non-standard protocol, OMERTA, a tight-lipped

variant of SNA, in which extended handshakes also perform complex

security functions.  The known timesharing aspects of MAFIA point to a

more than usually autocratic operating system.  Screen prompts carry an

imperative, nonrefusable weighting (most menus offer simple YES/YES

options, defaulting to YES) that precludes indifference or delay.

Uniquely, all editing under MAFIA is performed centrally, using a

powerful rubout feature capable of erasing files, filors, filees, and

entire nodal aggravations.

        -- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"

Fortune Cookie

1648 files (84%) out of the files that I mirror disappeared.  Since

my delete threshold was set at 90%, all those files are now missing

from my hard drive.  It's going to take a loooong time to fetch those

again via 14.4kbps!

        -- Brian C. White

Fortune Cookie

A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of everything

before he destroys it.

Fortune Cookie

Hi Jimbo.  Dennis.  Really appreciate the help on the income tax.  You wanna

help on the audit now?

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

Jim, this is Matty down at Ralph's and Mark's.  Some guy named Angel

Martin just ran up a fifty buck bar tab.  And now he wants to charge it

to you.  You gonna pay it?

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

God rest ye CS students now,        The bearings on the drum are gone,

Let nothing you dismay.            The disk is wobbling, too.

The VAX is down and won't be up,    We've found a bug in Lisp, and Algol

Until the first of May.            Can't tell false from true.

The program that was due this morn,    And now we find that we can't get

Won't be postponed, they say.        At Berkeley's 4.2.

(chorus)                (chorus)

We've just received a call from DEC,    And now some cheery news for you,

They'll send without delay        The network's also dead,

A monitor called RSuX            We'll have to print your files on

It takes nine hundred K.        The line printer instead.

The staff committed suicide,        The turnaround time's nineteen weeks.

We'll bury them today.            And only cards are read.

(chorus)                (chorus)

And now we'd like to say to you        CHORUS:    Oh, tidings of comfort and joy,

Before we go away,                Comfort and joy,

We hope the news we've brought to you        Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.

Won't ruin your whole day.

You've got another program due, tomorrow, by the way.

(chorus)

        -- to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Fortune Cookie

Hello.  Jim Rockford's machine, this is Larry Doheny's machine.  Will you

please have your master call my master at his convenience?  Thank you.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

        -- "The Rockford Files"

Fortune Cookie

These download files are in Microsoft Word 6.0 format. After

unzipping, these files can be viewed in any text editor, including

all versions of Microsoft Word, WordPad, and Microsoft Word Viewer

        -- From Micro$oft

Fortune Cookie

compuberty, n:

    The uncomfortable period of emotional and hormonal changes a

    computer experiences when the operating system is upgraded and

    a sun4 is put online sharing files.

Fortune Cookie

All your files have been destroyed (sorry).  Paul.

Fortune Cookie

        Hard Copies and Chmod

And everyone thinks computers are impersonal

cold diskdrives hardware monitors

user-hostile software

of course they're only bits and bytes

and characters and strings

and files</p>

just some old textfiles from my old boyfriend

telling me he loves me and

he'll take care of me

simply a discarded printout of a friend's directory

deep intimate secrets and

how he doesn't trust me

couldn't hurt me more if they were scented in lavender or mould

on personal stationery

        -- terri@csd4.milw.wisc.edu

Fortune Cookie

I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

Fortune Cookie

She can kill all your files;

She can freeze with a frown.

And a wave of her hand brings the whole system down.

And she works on her code until ten after three.

She lives like a bat but she's always a hacker to me.

        -- Apologies to Billy Joel

Fortune Cookie

<Overfiend> The Unix way -- everything is a file</p>

<Overfiend> The Linux way -- everything is a filesystem :)

Fortune Cookie

HEAD CRASH!!  FILES LOST!!

Details at 11.

Fortune Cookie

If someone can point me to a good and _FREE_ backup software that keeps

track of which files get stored on which tape, we can change to it.

        -- Mike Neuffer, admin of i-Connect Corp.

Fortune Cookie

<|Rain|> Knghtbrd: let me give you access to the zone files</p>

<Knghtbrd> oh gods - you do realize I have never played with bind right?

<|Rain|> uhoh :)

Fortune Cookie

The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.

        -- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com

Fortune Cookie

Mommy, what happens to your files when you die?

Fortune Cookie

The procession proceeded, with feverish slowness, from the house of the deceased, by way of the boulevards as far as the Bastille. It rained from time to time; the rain mattered nothing to that throng. Many incidents, the coffin borne round the Vendome column, stones thrown at the Duc de Fitz-James, who was seen on a balcony with his hat on his head, the Gallic cock torn from a popular flag and dragged in the mire, a policeman wounded with a blow from a sword at the Porte Saint-Martin, an officer of the 12th Light Infantry saying aloud: "I am a Republican," the Polytechnic School coming up unexpectedly against orders to remain at home, the shouts of: "Long live the Polytechnique! Long live the Republic!" marked the passage of the funeral train. At the Bastille, long files of curious and formidable people who descended from the Faubourg Saint-Antoine, effected a junction with the procession, and a certain terrible seething began to agitate the throng.

Victor Hugo     Les Miserables

On the day when a novice makes her profession, she is dressed in her handsomest attire, she is crowned with white roses, her hair is brushed until it shines, and curled. Then she prostrates herself; a great black veil is thrown over her, and the office for the dead is sung. Then the nuns separate into two files; one file passes close to her, saying in plaintive accents, "Our sister is dead"; and the other file responds in a voice of ecstasy, "Our sister is alive in Jesus Christ!"

Victor Hugo     Les Miserables

All the faces of the English squares were attacked at once. A frenzied whirl enveloped them. That cold infantry remained impassive. The first rank knelt and received the cuirassiers on their bayonets, the second ranks shot them down; behind the second rank the cannoneers charged their guns, the front of the square parted, permitted the passage of an eruption of grape-shot, and closed again. The cuirassiers replied by crushing them. Their great horses reared, strode across the ranks, leaped over the bayonets and fell, gigantic, in the midst of these four living wells. The cannon-balls ploughed furrows in these cuirassiers; the cuirassiers made breaches in the squares. Files of men disappeared, ground to dust under the horses. The bayonets plunged into the bellies of these centaurs; hence a hideousness of wounds which has probably never been seen anywhere else. The squares, wasted by this mad cavalry, closed up their ranks without flinching. Inexhaustible in the matter of grape-shot, they created explosions in their assailants' midst. The form of this combat was monstrous. These squares were no longer battalions, they were craters; those cuirassiers were no longer cavalry, they were a tempest. Each square was a volcano attacked by a cloud; lava contended with lightning.

Victor Hugo     Les Miserables

While Menelaus thus the cares engross'd Of all those Chiefs, the shielded powers of Troy 'Gan move toward them, and the Greeks again Put on their armor, mindful of the fight. Then hadst thou not great Agamemnon seen Slumbering, or trembling, or averse from war, But ardent to begin his glorious task. His steeds, and his bright chariot brass-inlaid He left; the snorting steeds Eurymedon, Offspring of Ptolemy Piraïdes Detain'd apart; for him he strict enjoin'd Attendance near, lest weariness of limbs Should seize him marshalling his numerous host. So forth he went, and through the files on foot Proceeding, where the warrior Greeks he saw Alert, he roused them by his words the more.

BOOK IV.     The Iliad by Homer

For the long absent ship, the outward-bounder, perhaps, has letters on board; at any rate, she will be sure to let her have some papers of a date a year or two later than the last one on her blurred and thumb-worn files. And in return for that courtesy, the outward-bound ship would receive the latest whaling intelligence from the cruising-ground to which she may be destined, a thing of the utmost importance to her. And in degree, all this will hold true concerning whaling vessels crossing each other's track on the cruising-ground itself, even though they are equally long absent from home. For one of them may have received a transfer of letters from some third, and now far remote vessel; and some of those letters may be for the people of the ship she now meets. Besides, they would exchange the whaling news, and have an agreeable chat. For not only would they meet with all the sympathies of sailors, but likewise with all the peculiar congenialities arising from a common pursuit and mutually shared privations and perils.

Herman Melville     Moby Dick; or The Whale

This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:

Fyodor Dostoyevsky     The Brothers Karamazov

Index: