Quotes4study

It 's wiser being good than bad; It 's safer being meek than fierce; It 's fitter being sane than mad. My own hope is, a sun will pierce The thickest cloud earth ever stretched; That after Last returns the First, Though a wide compass round be fetched; That what began best can't end worst, Nor what God blessed once prove accurst.

ROBERT BROWNING. 1812-1890.     _Apparent Failure. vii._

Les vieillards aiment a donner de bons preceptes, pour se consoler de n'etre plus en etat de donner de mauvais exemples=--Old men like to give good precepts, to make amends for being no longer able to set bad examples.

La Rochefoucauld.

All the religions known in the world are founded, so far as they relate to man, or the unity of man, as being all of one degree. Whether in heaven or in hell, or in whatever state man may be supposed to exist hereafter, the good and the bad are the only distinctions.--_Thomas Paine._

Maturin M. Ballou     Pearls of Thought

>Beauty is spoiled by an immoral nature; noble birth by bad conduct; learning, without being perfected; and wealth by not being properly utilised.

Chanakya

They say, best men are moulded out of faults, And, for the most, become much more the better For being a little bad.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. 1564-1616.     _Measure for Measure. Act v. Sc. 1._

That was one of the virtues of being a pessimist: nothing was ever as bad as you thought it would be.

James Jones

Productions (of a certain artistic quality) are at present possible which are nought= (_Null_) =without being<b> bad--nought, because there is nothing in them, and not bad, because a general form after some good model has hovered vaguely= (_vorschwebt_) =before the mind of the author.

_Goethe._

It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.

Good Omens (by Gaiman & Pratchett

The evil that is in the world always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. On the whole men are more good than bad; that, however, isn't the real point. But they are more or less ignorant, and it is this that we call vice or virtue; the most incorrigible vice being that of an ignorance which fancies it knows everything and therefore claims for itself the right to kill. There can be no true goodness, nor true love, without the utmost clear-sightedness.

Albert Camus

By "nationalism" I mean first of all the habit of assuming that human beings can be classified like insects and that whole blocks of millions or tens of millions of people can be confidently labelled "good" or "bad." … By "patriotism" I mean devotion to a particular place and a particular way of life, which one believes to be the best in the world but has no wish to force on other people. Patriotism is of its nature defensive, both militarily and culturally. Nationalism, on the other hand, is inseperable from the desire for power.

George Orwell

Her father loved me; oft invited me; Still question'd me the story of my life, From year to year, the battles, sieges, fortunes, That I have passed. I ran it through, even from my boyish days, To the very moment that he bade me tell it: Wherein I spake of most disastrous chances, Of moving accidents by flood and field, Of hair-breadth 'scapes i' the imminent deadly breach, Of being taken by the insolent foe And sold to slavery, of my redemption thence And portance in my travels' history; Wherein of antres vast and deserts idle, Rough quarries, rocks and hills whose heads touch heaven, It was my hint to speak,--such was the process; And of the Cannibals that each other eat, The Anthropophagi, and men whose heads Do grow beneath their shoulders. This to hear Would Desdemona seriously incline.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. 1564-1616.     _Othello. Act i. Sc. 3._

Poets of old date, being privileged with senses, had also enjoyed external Nature; but chiefly as we enjoy the crystal cup which holds good or bad liquor for us; that is to say, in silence, or with slight incidental commentary; never, as I compute, till after the "Sorrows of Werter" was there man found who would say: Come, let us make a description: Having drunk the liquor, Come, let us eat the glass.

_Carlyle._

They say best men are moulded out of faults, and, for the most, become much more the better for being a little bad!--_Shakespeare._

Maturin M. Ballou     Pearls of Thought

_Eritis sicut dii, scientes bonum et malum._--Every one plays the god in judging whether anything be good or bad, and in being too much afflicted or rejoiced at circumstances.

Blaise Pascal     The Thoughts of Blaise Pascal

Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.

Oscar Wilde

We cannot know, we cannot name the Divine, nor can we understand its ways as manifested in nature and human life. We ask why there should be suffering and sin, we cannot answer the question. All we can say is, it is willed to be so. Some help our human understanding may find, however, by simply imagining what would have been our life if the power of evil had not been given us. It seems to me that in that case we, human beings as we are, should never have had a conception of what is meant by good: we should have been like the birds in the air, happier, it may be, but better, no. Or if suffering had always been reserved for the bad, we should all have become the most cunning angels. Often when I am met by a difficulty which seems insoluble, I try that experiment, and say, Let us see what would happen if it were otherwise. Still, I confess there is some suffering on earth which goes beyond all understanding, which even the truest Christian love and charity seems unable to remove or mitigate. It can teach us one thing only, that we are blind, and that in the darkness of the night we lose our faith in a Dawn which will drive away darkness, fear, and despair. Much, no doubt, could be done even by what is now called Communism, but what in earlier days was called Christianity. And then one wonders whether the world can ever again become truly Christian. I dare not call myself a Christian. I have hardly met the men in all my life who deserved that name. Again, I say, let us do our best, knowing all the time that our best is a mere nothing.

Friedrich Max Müller     Thoughts on Life and Religion

Healthy action is always a balance of forces; and all extremes are dangerous; the excess of a good thing being often more dangerous in its social consequences than the excess of what is radically bad.

_Prof. Blackie, to Young Men._

Scilurus on his death-bed, being about to leave fourscore sons surviving, offered a bundle of darts to each of them, and bade them break them. When all refused, drawing out one by one, he easily broke them,--thus teaching them that if they held together, they would continue strong; but if they fell out and were divided, they would become weak.

PLUTARCH. 46(?)-120(?) A. D.     _Apophthegms of Kings and Great Commanders._ _Scilurus._

But I didn't understand then. That I could hurt somebody so badly she would never recover. That a person can, just by living, damage another human being beyond repair.

Haruki Murakami

You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, beacuse the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself.

Toni Morrison

Those who are always hopeful in adversity, and rejoice in good luck, are suspected of being glad of failure should they not be correspondingly depressed under bad luck; they are delighted to find pretexts for hoping, in order to show that they are interested, and to hide by the joy they pretend to feel that which they really feel at the ill success of the affair.

Blaise Pascal     The Thoughts of Blaise Pascal

Maybe I’m afraid that if I could do otherwise I would gradually cease to be a human being, and would soon be creeping about, dirty and stinking, emitting incomprehensible noises. Not that I’m afraid of becoming an animal. That wouldn’t be too bad, but a human being can never become just an animal; he plunges beyond, into the abyss.

Marlen Haushofer

This is a key to understanding our history and psychology. Genus Homo’s position in the food chain was, until quite recently, solidly in the middle. For millions of years, humans hunted smaller creatures and gathered what they could, all the while being hunted by larger predators. It was only 400,000 years ago that several species of man began to hunt large game on a regular basis, and only in the last 100,000 years – with the rise of Homo sapiens – that man jumped to the top of the food chain. That spectacular leap from the middle to the top had enormous consequences. Other animals at the top of the pyramid, such as lions and sharks, evolved into that position very gradually, over millions of years. This enabled the ecosystem to develop checks and balances that prevent lions and sharks from wreaking too much havoc. As lions became deadlier, so gazelles evolved to run faster, hyenas to cooperate better, and rhinoceroses to be more bad-tempered. In contrast, humankind ascended to the top so quickly that the ecosystem was not given time to adjust. Moreover, humans themselves failed to adjust. Most top predators of the planet are majestic creatures. Millions of years of dominion have filled them with self-confidence. Sapiens by contrast is more like a banana republic dictator. Having so recently been one of the underdogs of the savannah, we are full of fears and anxieties over our position, which makes us doubly cruel and dangerous. Many historical calamities, from deadly wars to ecological catastrophes, have resulted from this over-hasty jump.

Yuval Noah Harari

And often did beguile her of her tears, When I did speak of some distressful stroke That my youth suffer'd. My story being done, She gave me for my pains a world of sighs; She swore, in faith, 't was strange, 't was passing strange. 'T was pitiful, 't was wondrous pitiful; She wish'd she had not heard it, yet she wish'd That Heaven had made her such a man; she thank'd me, And bade me, if I had a friend that loved her, I should but teach him how to tell my story, And that would woo her. Upon this hint I spake: She loved me for the dangers I had pass'd, And I loved her that she did pity them. This only is the witchcraft I have used.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. 1564-1616.     _Othello. Act i. Sc. 3._

>Being genuine should never be a bad idea; along with respect, authenticity should easily get anyone out of the so-called loaded question of, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” (Any men out there who struggle with this question, message me and I will personally scold you.)

Alexander Kosoris

White shall not neutralize the black, nor good Compensate bad in man, absolve him so: Life's business being just the terrible choice.

ROBERT BROWNING. 1812-1890.     _The Ring and the Book. The Pope. Line 1236._

Ah, I believe Schacht. Only too willingly; that’s to say, I think what he says is absolutely true, for the world is incomprehensibly crass, tyrannical, moody, and cruel to sickly and sensitive people. Well, Schacht will stay here for the time being. We laughed at him a bit, when he arrived, that can’t be helped either, Schacht is young and after all can’t be allowed to think there are special degrees, advantages, methods, and considerations for him. He has now had his first disappointment, and I’m convinced that he’ll have twenty disappointments, one after the other. Life with its savage laws is in any case for certain people a succession of discouragements and terrifying bad impressions. People like Schacht are born to feel and suffer a continuous sense of aversion. He would like to admit and welcome things, but he just can’t. Hardness and lack of compassion strike him with tenfold force, he just feels them more acutely. Poor Schacht. He’s a child and he should be able to revel in melodies and bed himself in kind, soft, carefree things. For him there should be secret splashings and birdsong. Pale and delicate evening clouds should waft him away in the kingdom of Ah, What’s Happening to Me? His hands are made for light gestures, not for work. Before him breezes should blow, and behind him sweet, friendly voices should be whispering. His eyes should be allowed to remain blissfully closed, and Schacht should be allowed to go quietly to sleep again, after being wakened in the morning in the warm, sensuous cushions. For him there is, at root, no proper activity, for every activity is for him, the way he is, improper, unnatural, and unsuitable. Compared with Schacht I’m the trueblue rawboned laborer. Ah, he’ll be crushed, and one day he’ll die in a hospital. or he’ll perish, ruined in body and soul, inside one of our modern prisons.

Robert Walser

They say best men are moulded out of faults, / And, for the most, become much more the better / For being a little bad.

_Meas. for Meas._, v. 1.

Government, like dress, is the badge of lost innocence; the palaces of kings are built on the ruins of the bowers of paradise. For were the impulses of conscience clear, uniform, and irresistibly obeyed, man would need no other lawgiver; but that not being the case, he finds it necessary to surrender up a part of his property to furnish means for the protection of the rest, and this he is induced to do by the same prudence which in every other case advises him out of two evils to choose the least.--_Thomas Paine._

Maturin M. Ballou     Pearls of Thought

...and then, because he couldn’t seem to stop himself, added, “Can being claimed really be that bad?

Melissa Wright

Capitalism is an evil not because it defends the legal right to property, but because it is of its nature the use of that legal right for the defense of a privileged few against a much greater number who, though free and equal citizens, are without economic basis of their own. Therefore the root evil which we roughly term “Capitalism:” should more accurately be termed “Proletarianism”; for the characteristic of the bad state of Society which we call today “Capitalist,” is not the fact that the few own, but the fact that the man, though politically equal to their masters and free to exercise all the functions of a citizen, cannot enjoy full economic freedom. [ The Crisis of Civilization, Being the Matter of a Course of Lectures Delivered at Fordham University, 1937 . Rockford, Illinois: Tan Books and Publishers, Inc., 1991, p. 139.]

Belloc, Hilaire.

Browder told a Russian lawyer, Sergey Magnitsky, who worked for a Moscow-based law firm called Firestone and Duncan, to follow the trail. It turned out the investment companies were being illegally signed over by the cops to petty criminals, who would then ask for tax rebates on the companies worth hundreds of millions of dollars, which were then granted by corrupt tax officials, signed off on by the same cops who had taken the documents in the first place, and wired to two banks owned by a convicted fraudster, an old friend of the aforementioned cops and tax officials. Officially the tax officials and cops only earned a few thousand a year, but they had property worth hundreds of thousands, drove Porsches, and went on shopping trips to Harrods in London. And this was happening year after year. The biggest tax fraud scheme in history. Magnitsky thought he had caught a few bad apples.

Peter Pomerantsev

>Being able to do as one pleases is the natural goal of the libertarian, but having nothing to do is not. While it may be correct to say that the human species is badly prepared for having nothing to do, it is quite a different matter to say that it is badly prepared for the freedom to do as one pleases. People who are able to do as they please may work very hard, given the opportunity to do interesting work.

Noam Chomsky

The examination of a transparent slice gives a good notion of the manner in which the components of the chalk are arranged, and of their relative proportions. But, by rubbing up some chalk with a brush in water and then pouring off the milky fluid, so as to obtain sediments of different degrees of fineness, the granules and the minute rounded bodies may be pretty well separated from one another, and submitted to microscopic examination, either as opaque or as transparent objects. By combining the views obtained in these various methods, each of the rounded bodies may be proved to be a beautifully-constructed calcareous fabric, made up of a number of chambers, communicating freely with one another. The chambered bodies are of various forms. One of the commonest is something like a badly-grown raspberry, being formed of a number of nearly globular chambers of different sizes congregated together. It is called _Globigerina_, and some specimens of chalk consist of little else than _Globigerinæ_ and granules. Let us fix our attention upon the _Globigerina_. It is the spoor of the game we are tracking. If we can learn what it is and what are the conditions of its existence, we shall see our way to the origin and past history of the chalk.

T. H. Huxley     Aphorisms and Reflections from the Works of T. H. Huxley

I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents

become better people as a result of practicing it.

It's wiser being good than bad; / It's safer being meek than fierce; / It's fitter being sane than mad. / My own hope is, a sun will pierce / The thickest cloud earth ever stretch'd; / That after last returns the first, / Though a wide compass round be fetch'd; / That what began best can't end worst, / Nor what God blessed once prove accurst.

_Browning._

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which

people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products.

Just as food can be<b> bad for your system, music can be<b> bad for your spirtual

and emotional feelings.  It might taste good or clever, but in the long run,

it's not going to do anything for you.

        -- Bob Dylan, "LA Times", September 5, 1984

Fortune Cookie

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is,

having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well

burst out in laughter.

        -- Long Chen Pa

Fortune Cookie

Optimism, n.:

    The belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, good,

    bad, and everything right that is wrong.  It is held with greatest

    tenacity by those accustomed to falling into adversity, and most

    acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile.  Being a blind

    faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof -- an intellectual

    disorder, yielding to no treatment but death.  It is hereditary, but

    not contagious.

Fortune Cookie

I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents

>become better people as a result of practicing it.

        -- Joe Mullally, computer salesman

Fortune Cookie

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first

half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and

pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who

hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice

for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time

during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it

but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.

        -- Winning sentence, 1986 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

Fortune Cookie

 

ACTON'S LAW

Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.

ALBRECHT'S LAW

Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.

ALLEN'S (or CANN'S) AXIOM

When all else fails, read the instructions.

BOREN'S FIRST LAW

When in doubt, mumble.

BOVE'S THEOREM

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

BOWIE'S THEOREM

If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

BROOK'S LAW

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

CANADA BILL JONES' MOTTO

It's morally wrong to allow naive end users to keep their money.

CANN'S (or ALLEN'S) AXIOM

When all else fails, read the instructions.

CARLSON'S CONSOLATION

Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

CLARKE'S THIRD LAW

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

COLE'S LAW

Thinly sliced cabbage.

COHN'S LAW

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.

CONWAY'S LAW

In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

LAW OF CONTINUITY

Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.

CORRESPONDENCE COROLLARY

An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory.

CROPP'S LAW

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

CUTLER WEBSTER'S LAW

There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one.

DEADLINE-DAN'S DEMO DEMONSTRATION

The higher the "higher-ups" are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

DEMIAN'S OBSERVATION

There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE".

DENNISTON'S LAW

Virtue is its own punishment.

DOW'S LAW

In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

DR. CALIGARI'S COME-BACK

A bad sector disk error occurs only after you've done several hours of work without performing a backup.

ESTRIDGE'S LAW

No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine it.

FINAGLE'S LAWS

1) Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

2) No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it.

3) No matter what the result, someone is always eager to misinterpret it.

4) No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory.

FINAGLE'S RULES

1) To study an application best, understand it thoroughly before you start.

2) Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.

3) Always draw your curves, then plot the reading.

4) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

5) Program results should always be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.

6) Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

FINSTER'S LAW

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

FIRST RULE OF HISTORY

History doesn't repeat itself --- historians merely repeat each other.

FRANKLIN'S PARAPHRASE OF POPE'S LAW

Praised be the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will never be disappointed.

GILB'S LAWS OF UNRELIABILITY

1) At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.

2) Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

3) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

4) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.

GLYME'S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

THE GOLDEN RULE

Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

GOLD'S LAW

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

GORDON'S FIRST LAW

If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

GOVERNMENT'S LAW

There is an exception to all laws.

GREEN'S LAW OF DEBATE

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

GUMMIDGES'S LAW

The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

GUMPERSON'S LAW

The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

HANLON'S RAZOR

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

HARP'S COROLLARY TO ESTRIDGE'S LAW

Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment.

HARRISON'S POSTULATE

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

HELLER'S LAW

The first myth of management is that it exists.

HINDS' LAW OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING

1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

2) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

3) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

4) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.

5) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

6) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

7) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, andyou will find that programmers cannot write in English.

HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROGRAMS

Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

HOPPER'S AXIOM (Admiral Grace Hopper, USN, who discovered the first computer "bug" in the 1940's---an actual insect)

It's better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.

HUBBARD'S LAW

Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive.

JENKINSON'S LAW

It won't work.

JOHNSON-LAIRD'S LAW

Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night.

LARKINSON'S LAW

All laws are basically false.

THE LAST ONE'S LAW OF PROGRAM GENERATORS

A program generator creates programs that are more "buggy" than the program generator.

LIEBERMAN'S LAW

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

LYNCH'S LAW

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

MASON'S FIRST LAW OF SYNERGISM

The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.

MAY'S LAW

The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density of control. (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)

MENCKEN'S LAW

There is always an easy answer to every human problem --- neat, plausible, and wrong.

MESKIMEN'S LAW

There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.

MUIR'S LAW

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

MURPHY'S LAWS

1) If anything can go wrong, it will (and at the worst possible moment).

2) Nothing is as easy as it looks.

3) Everything takes longer than you think it will.

MURPHY'S FOURTH LAW

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

MURPHY'S LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS

1) You can't win,

2) You can't break even,

3) And you can't get out of the game.

ALSO: Things get worse under pressure.

NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES

The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

NIXON'S THEOREM

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

NOLAN'S PLACEBO

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

OLIVER'S LAW OF LOCATION

No matter where you are, there you are.

O'REILLY'S LAW OF THE KITCHEN

Cleanliness is next to impossible.

OSBORN'S LAW

Variables won't, constants aren't.

O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW

Murphy was an optimist.

PARKINSON'S LAW

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

PARKINSON'S LAW (MODIFIED)

The components you have will expand to fill the available space.

PEER'S LAW

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

PETER'S PRINCIPLE

In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of his incompetence.

THE LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF NATURE

You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

PUDDER'S LAW

Anything that begins well will end badly. [Note: The converse of Pudder's law is not true.]

RHODE'S COROLLARY TO HOARE'S LAW

Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to be free.

ROBERT E. LEE'S TRUCE

Judgment comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgment.

RUDIN'S LAW

In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.

RULE OF ACCURACY

When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer.

RYAN'S LAW

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

SATTINGER'S LAW

It works better if you plug it in.

SAUSAGE PRINCIPLE

People who love sausage and respect the law should watch neither being made.

SHAW'S PRINCIPLE

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

SNAFU EQUATIONS

1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns.

2) The object or bit of information most needed will be the least available.

3) The device requiring service or adjustment will be the least accessible.

4) Interchangeable devices aren't.

5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.

6) Badness comes in waves.

STEWART'S LAW OF RETROACTION

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

THOREAU'S THEORIES OF ADAPTATION

1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure.

2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar "bug" in the system, the system is revised, the "bug" taken away, and you're left with a useless routine.

3) Efforts in improving a program's "user friendliness" invariably lead to work in improving user's "computer literacy".

4) That's not a "bug", that's a feature!

THYME'S LAW

Everything goes wrong at once.

THE LAW OF THE TOO SOLID GOOF

In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct beyond all need of checking are the figures that contain the errors.

Corollary 1: No one you ask for help will see the error either.

Corollary 2: Any nagging intruder, who stops by with unsought advice, will spot it immediately.

UNNAMED LAW

If it happens, it must be possible.

WEILER'S LAW

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work.

WEINBERG'S COROLLARY

An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

WEINBERG'S LAW

If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

WHITEHEAD'S LAW

The obvious answer is always overlooked.

WILCOX'S LAW

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

WOOD'S AXIOM

As soon as a still-to-be-finished computer task becomes a life-or-death situation, the power fails.

WOODWARD'S LAW

A theory is better than its explanation.

ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS

Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.

Fortune Cookie

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