We live in a world ruled by fictions of every kind — mass merchandising, advertising, politics conducted as a branch of advertising, the instant translation of science and technology into popular imagery, the increasing blurring and intermingling of identities within the realm of consumer goods, the preempting of any free or original imaginative response to experience by the television screen. We live inside an enormous novel. For the writer in particular it is less and less necessary for him to invent the fictional content of his novel. The fiction is already there. The writer's task is to invent the reality.
You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right
Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book. And then there are books like An Imperial Affliction, which you can't tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like betrayal
I pay for the privilege of handing over to trained professionals responsibility not just for my experience but for my interpretation of that experience—i.e. my pleasure. My pleasure is for 7 nights and 6.5 days wisely and efficiently managed… just as promised in the cruise line’s advertising—nay, just as somehow already accomplished in the ads, with their 2nd-person imperatives, which make them not promises but predictions.
Books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal.
This restaurant was advertising breakfast any time. So I ordered
intelligence long enough to get money from it.
way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.
-- Sinclair Lewis
You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough. -- Joseph E. Levine
The less you know about computers the more you want Microsoft! -- Microsoft ad campaign, circa 1996 (Proof that Microsoft's advertising _isn't_ dishonest!)
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Angels we have heard on High
Tell us to go out and Buy.
-- Tom Lehrer
"The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: `Hey you stinking fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort.'" -- Dennis Miller, Saturday Night Live
This restaurant was advertising breakfast any time. So I ordered french toast in the renaissance. -- Steven Wright, comedian
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second. -- Steven Wright
In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the
reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly,
that it is curable.
An excellence-oriented '80s male does not wear a regular watch. He wears a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised</p> only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich Protestant Golfer Magazine. The advertisements are written in incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote excellence: "The Rolex Hyperion. An elegant new standard in quality excellence and discriminating handcraftsmanship. For the individual who is truly able to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting things by hand. Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold. No watch parts or anything. Just a great big chunk on your wrist. Truly a timeless statement. For the individual who is very secure. Who doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful. Much more successful than the people who laughed at him in high school. Because of his acne. People who are probably nowhere near as successful as he is now. Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and they'll see his Rolex Hyperion. Hahahahahahahahaha." -- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
O'Propriation: The inclusion of advertising, packaging, and entertainment jargon from earlier eras in everyday speech for ironic and/or comic effect: "Kathleen's Favorite Dead Celebrity party was tons o'fun" or "Dave really thinks of himself as a zany, nutty, wacky, and madcap guy, doesn't he?" -- Douglas Coupland, "Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture"
Excitement and danger await your induction to tracer duty! As a tracer, you must rid the computer networks of slimy, criminal data thieves. They are tricky and the action gets tough, so watch out! Utilizing all your skills, you'll either get your man or you'll get burned! -- advertising for the computer game "Tracers"
The annual meeting of the "You Have To Listen To Experience" Club is now in session. Our Achievement Awards this year are in the fields of publishing,
publishing our award goes to editor, R.L.K., [...] for his unrivaled alle-
giance without variation to the statement: "Personally I'd love to do it,
we'd ALL love to do it. But we're not going to do it. It's not the kind of
book our house knows how to handle." Our superior performance award in the
field of advertising goes to media executive, E.L.M., [...] for the continu-
ally creative use of the old favorite: "I think what you've got here could be
very exciting. Why not give it one more try based on the approach I've out-
lined and see if you can come up with something fresh." Our final award for
courageous holding action in the field of industry goes to supervisor, R.S.,
[...] for her unyielding grip on "I don't care if they fire me, I've been
arguing for a new approach for YEARS but are we SURE that this is the right
time--" I would like to conclude this meeting with a verse written specially
for our prospectus by our founding president fifty years ago -- and now, as
then, fully expressive of the emotion most close to all our hearts --
Treat freshness as a youthful quirk,
And dare not stray to ideas new,
For if t'were tried they might e'en work
And for a living what woulds't we do?
-- George Orwell
The Advertising Agency Song When your client's hopping mad, Put his picture in the ad. If he still should prove refractory, Add a picture of his factory.
Christmas time is here, by Golly; Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens; Disapproval would be folly; Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens; Deck the halls with hunks of holly; Even though the prospect sickens, Fill the cup and don't say when... Brother, here we go again. On Christmas day, you can't get sore; Relations sparing no expense'll, Your fellow man you must adore; Send some useless old utensil, There's time to rob him all the more, Or a matching pen and pencil, The other three hundred and sixty-four! Just the thing I need... how nice. It doesn't matter how sincere Hark The Herald-Tribune sings, It is, nor how heartfelt the spirit; Advertising wondrous things. Sentiment will not endear it; God Rest Ye Merry Merchants, What's important is... the price. May you make the Yuletide pay. Angels We Have Heard On High, Let the raucous sleighbells jingle; Tell us to go out and buy. Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle, Sooooo... Driving his reindeer across the sky, Don't stand underneath when they fly by! -- Tom Lehrer
7. Advertising offices are confiscated by the Government, the owners being entitled to compensation in cases of necessity. Small proprietors, depositors and stock-holders of the confiscated establishments will be reimbursed for all moneys held by them in the concern.
"Well, he is sure to keep an eye on the papers, since, to a poor man, the loss was a heavy one. He was clearly so scared by his mischance in breaking the window and by the approach of Peterson that he thought of nothing but flight, but since then he must have bitterly regretted the impulse which caused him to drop his bird. Then, again, the introduction of his name will cause him to see it, for everyone who knows him will direct his attention to it. Here you are, Peterson, run down to the advertising agency and have this put in the evening papers."
4. All managers of publications and businesses dealing with paid advertising, as well as their employees and workers, shall agree to hold a City Congress, and to join, first the City Trade Unions, and then the All-Russian Unions, to organise more thoroughly and justly the advertising business in the Soviet publications, as well as to prepare better rules for the public utility of advertising.
8. All buildings, officers, counters, and in general every establishment doing a business in advertising, should immediately inform the Soviet of Workers’ and Soldiers’ Deputies of its address, and proceed to the transfer of its business, under penalty of the punishment indicated in paragraph 5.
3. The proprietors of newspapers and advertising offices, as well as all employees of such establishments, should remain at their posts until the transfer of the advertisement business to the Government.... superintending the uninterrupted continuation of their houses, and turning over to the Soviets all private advertising and the sums received therefor, as well as all accounts and copy.
It was in the summer of '89, not long after my marriage, that the events occurred which I am now about to summarise. I had returned to civil practice and had finally abandoned Holmes in his Baker Street rooms, although I continually visited him and occasionally even persuaded him to forgo his Bohemian habits so far as to come and visit us. My practice had steadily increased, and as I happened to live at no very great distance from Paddington Station, I got a few patients from among the officials. One of these, whom I had cured of a painful and lingering disease, was never weary of advertising my virtues and of endeavouring to send me on every sufferer over whom he might have any influence.
By the Licensing Act 1872 penalties are incurred by licensed persons who allow their houses to be used in contravention of the Betting Act 1853. There has been a great deal of litigation as to the meaning and scope of this enactment, and a keen contest between the police and the Anti-gambling League (which has been very active in the matter) and the betting confraternity, in which much ingenuity has been shown by the votaries of sport in devising means for evading the terms of the enactment. The consequent crop of legal decisions shows a considerable divergence of judicial opinion. The House of Lords has held that the Tattersall's enclosure or betting ring on a racecourse is not a "place" within the statute; and members of a bona-fide club who bet with each other in the club are not subject to the penalties of the act. But the word "place" has been held to include a public-house bar, an archway, a small plot of waste ground, and a bookmaker's stand, and even a bookmaker's big umbrella, and it is difficult to extract from the judges any clear indication of the nature of the "places" to which the act applies. The act is construed as applying only to ready-money betting, i.e. when the stake is deposited with the bookmaker, and only to places used for betting with persons physically resorting thereto; so that bets by letter, telegram or telephone do not fall within its penalties. The arm of the law has been found long enough to punish as thieves "welshers," who receive and make off with deposits on bets which they never mean to pay if they lose. The act of 1853 makes it an offence to publish advertisements showing that a house is kept for betting. It was supplemented in 1874 by an act imposing penalties on persons advertising as to betting. But this has been read as applying to bets falling within the act of 1853, and it does not prohibit the publication of betting news or sporting tips in newspapers. A few newspapers do not publish these aids to ruin, and in some public libraries the betting news is obliterated, as it attracts crowds of undesirable readers. The act of 1853 has been to a great extent effectual against betting houses, and has driven some of them to Holland and other places. But it has been deemed expedient to legislate against betting in the streets, which has been found too attractive to the British workman. Entry: GAMING
With the opening of the diet in 1890, politics again obtruded themselves into newspaper columns, but as practical living issues now occupied attention, readers were no longer wearied by the abstract homilies of former days. Moreover, freedom of the press was at length secured. Already (1887) the government had voluntarily made a great step in advance by divesting itself of the right to imprison or fine editors by executive order. But it reserved the power of suppressing or suspending a newspaper, and against that reservation a majority of the lower house voted, session after session, only to see the bill rejected by the peers, who shared the government's opinion that to grant a larger measure of liberty would certainly encourage licence. Not until 1897 was this opposition fully overcome. A new law, passed by both houses and confirmed by the emperor, took from the executive all power over journals, except in cases of lèse majesté, and nothing now remains of the former arbitrary system except that any periodical having a political complexion is required to deposit security varying from 175 to 1000 yen. The result has falsified all sinister forebodings. A much more moderate tone pervades the writings of the press since restrictions were entirely removed, and although there are now 1775 journals and periodicals published throughout the empire, with a total annual circulation of some 700 million copies, intemperance of language, such as in former times would have provoked official interference, is practically unknown to-day. Moreover, the best Japanese editors have caught with remarkable aptitude the spirit of modern journalism. But a few years ago they used to compile laborious essays, in which the inspiration was drawn from Occidental textbooks, and the alien character of the source was hidden under a veneer of Chinese aphorisms. To-day they write terse, succinct, closely-reasoned articles, seldom diffuse, often witty; and generally free from extravagance of thought or diction. Incidentally they are hastening the assimilation of the written and the spoken languages (_genbun itchi_) which may possibly prelude a still greater reform, abolition of the ideographic script. Yet, with few exceptions, the profession of journalism is not remunerative. Very low rates of subscription, and almost prohibitory charges for advertising, are chiefly to blame.[1] The vicissitudes of the enterprise may be gathered from the fact that, whereas 2767 journals and periodicals were started between 1889 and 1894 (inclusive), no less than 2465 ceased publishing. The largest circulation recorded in 1908 was about 150,000 copies daily, and the honour of attaining that exceptional figure belonged to the _Osaka Asahi Shimbun_. (F. By.) Entry: JAPANESE
An important feature of modern flower growing is the production and cultivation of what are known as "hardy herbaceous perennials." Some 2000 or 3000 different species and varieties of these are now raised in special nurseries; and during the spring, summer and autumn seasons magnificent displays are to be seen not only in the markets but at the exhibitions in London and at the great provincial shows held throughout the kingdom. The production of many of these perennials is so easy that amateurs in several instances have taken it up as a business hobby; and in some cases, chiefly through advertising in the horticultural press, very lucrative concerns have been established. Entry: TABLE
GIBSON, THOMAS MILNER (1806-1884), English politician, who came of a good Suffolk family, was born in Trinidad, where his father, an officer in the army, was serving. He went to Trinity College, Cambridge, and in 1837 was elected to parliament as Conservative member for Ipswich, but resigned two years later, having adopted Liberal views, and became an ardent supporter of the free-trade movement. As one of Cobden's chief allies, he was elected for Manchester in 1841, and from 1846 to 1848 he was vice-president of the board of trade in Lord John Russell's ministry. Though defeated in Manchester in 1857, he found another seat for Ashton-under-Lyne; and he sat in the cabinets from 1859 to 1866 as president of the board of trade. He was the leading spirit in the movement for the repeal of "taxes on knowledge," and his successful efforts on behalf of journalism and advertising were recognized by a public testimonial in 1862. He retired from political life in 1868, but he and his wife, whose salon was a great Liberal centre, were for many years very influential in society. Milner Gibson was a sportsman and a typical man of the world, who enjoyed life and behaved liberally to those connected with him. Entry: GIBSON
There is still considerable scope for increasing the business of electricity supply by judicious advertising and other methods. Comparisons of the kilowatt hour consumption per capita in various towns show that where an energetic policy has been pursued the profits have improved by reason of additional output combined with increased load factor. The average number of equivalent 8 c.p. lamps connected per capita in the average of English towns is about 1.2. The average number of units consumed per capita per annum is about 23, and the average income per capita per annum is about 5s. In a number of American cities 20s. per capita per annum is obtained. In the United States a co-operative electrical development association canvasses both the general public and the electricity supply undertakers. Funds are provided by the manufacturing companies acting in concert with the supply authorities and contractors, and the spirit underlying the work is to advertise the merits of electricity--not any particular company or interest. Their efforts are directed to securing new consumers and stimulating the increased and more varied use of electricity among actual consumers. Entry: A
Garments made of sealskin pieces and Persian lamb pieces are frequently sold as if they were made of solid skins, the term "pieces" being simply suppressed. The London Chamber of Commerce have issued to the British trade a notice that any misleading term in advertising and all attempts at deception are illegal, and offenders are liable under the Merchandise Marks Act 1887. Entry: A
Since lotteries have become illegal there have been a great number of judicial decisions defining a lottery. In general, where skill or judgment is to be exercised there is no lottery, the essential element of which is chance or lot. There are numerous statutes against lotteries, the reason being given that they "tend to promote a gambling spirit," and that it is the duty of the state to "protect the morals and advance the welfare of the people." In New York the Constitution of 1846 forbade lotteries, and by § 324 of the Penal Code a lottery is declared "unlawful and a public nuisance." "Contriving" and advertising lotteries is also penal. The following have been held illegal lotteries: In New York, a concert, the tickets for which entitled the holder to a prize to be drawn by lot; in Indiana, offering a gold watch to the purchaser of goods who guesses the number of beans in a bottle; in Texas, selling "prize candy" boxes; and operating a nickel-in-the-slot machine--so also in Louisiana; in Massachusetts, the "policy" or "envelope game," or a "raffle"; in Kentucky (1905), prize coupon packages, the coupons having to spell a certain word (_U.S._ v. _Jefferson_, 134 Fed. R. 299); in Kansas (1907) it was held by the Supreme Court that the gift of a hat-pin to each purchaser was not illegal as a "gift enterprise," there being no chance or lot. In Oklahoma (1907) it was held that the making of contracts for the payment of money, the certainty in value of return being dependent on chance, was a lottery (_Fidelity Fund Co._ v. _Vaughan_, 90 Pac. Rep. 34). The chief features of a lottery are "procuring through lot or chance, by the investment of a sum of money or something of value, some greater amount of money or thing of greater value. When such are the chief features of any scheme whatever it may be christened, or however it may be guarded or concealed by cunningly devised conditions or screens, it is under the law a lottery" (_U.S._ v. _Wallace_, 58, Fed. Rep. 942). In 1894 and 1897 Congress forbade the importation of lottery tickets or advertisements into the United States. In 1899, setting up or promoting lotteries in Alaska was prohibited by Congress, and in 1900 it forbade any lottery or sale of lottery tickets in Hawaii. In Porto Rico lotteries, raffles and gift-enterprises are forbidden (Penal Code, 1902, § 291). Entry: LOTTERIES
In 1748 it was decided that cricket was not an illegal game under the statute 9 Anne, cap. 19, the court of king's bench holding "that it was a very manly game, not bad in itself, but only in the ill use made of it by betting more than ten pounds on it; but that was bad and against the law." Frederick Louis, prince of Wales, died in 1751 from internal injuries caused by a blow from a cricket ball whilst playing at Cliefden House. Games at this period were being played for large stakes, ground proprietors and tavern-keepers farming and advertising matches, the results of which were not always above suspicion. The old Artillery Ground at Finsbury was one of the earliest sites of this type of fixture. Here it was that the London Club--formed about 1700--played its matches. The president was the prince of Wales, and many noblemen were among its supporters. It flourished for more than half a century. One of the very earliest full-scores kept in the modern fashion is that of the match between Kent and All England, played on the Artillery Ground on the 18th of June 1744. Entry: CRICKET