I wear this Saint Christopher medal sometimes because — I'm Jewish — but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn't burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions. The only time it's an issue, I suppose, would be like if you're having a baby and you've got to figure out how you want to raise it. Which still wouldn't be an issue for us, because we'd be … honest, and just say, you know, like, "Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!"
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
On the night before her family moved from Kansas to California, the little girl knelt by her bed to say her prayers. "God bless Mommy and Daddy and Keith and Kim," she said. As she began to get up, she quickly added, "Oh, and God, this is goodbye. We're moving to Hollywood."
Norbert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories. Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him: when they moved from Cambridge to Newton his wife, knowing that he would be absolutely useless on the move, packed him off to MIT while she directed the move. Since she was certain that he would forget that they had moved and where they had moved to, she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper, and gave it to him. Naturally, in the course of the day, an insight occurred to him. He reached in his pocket, found a piece of paper on which he furiously scribbled some notes, thought it over, decided there was a fallacy in his idea, and threw the piece of paper away. At the end of the day he went home (to the old address in Cambridge, of course). When he got there he realized that they had moved, that he had no idea where they had moved to, and that the piece of paper with the address was long gone. Fortunately inspiration struck. There was a young girl on the street and he conceived the idea of asking her where he had moved to, saying, "Excuse me, perhaps you know me. I'm Norbert Weiner and we've just moved. Would you know where we've moved to?" To which the young girl replied, "Yes, Daddy, Mommy thought you would forget." The capper to the story is that I asked his daughter (the girl in the story) about the truth of the story, many years later. She said that it wasn't quite true -- that he never forgot who his children were! The rest of it, however, was pretty close to what actually happened... -- Richard Harter
Walt: Dad, what's gradual school? Garp: Gradual school? Walt: Yeah. Mom says her work's more fun now that she's teaching gradual school. Garp: Oh. Well, gradual school is someplace you go and gradually find out that you don't want to go to school anymore. -- The World According To Garp
Coach: How's it going, Norm? Norm: Daddy's rich and Momma's good lookin'. -- Cheers, Truce or Consequences Sam: What's up, Norm? Norm: My nipples. It's freezing out there. -- Cheers, Coach Returns to Action Coach: What's the story, Norm? Norm: Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it. -- Cheers, Endless Slumper
ATELLANAE FABULAE ("Atellan fables"), the name of a sort of popular comedy amongst the ancient Romans. The name is derived from Atella, an Oscan town in Campania; for this reason, and from their being also called _Osci Ludi_, it has been supposed that they were of Oscan origin and introduced at Rome after Campania had been deprived of its independence. It seems highly improbable that they were performed in the Oscan language. Mommsen, however, rejects their Oscan origin altogether; he regards them as purely Latin, the scene merely being laid at Atella to avoid causing offence by placing it at Rome or one of the Latin cities. These plays, or rather sketches, contained humorous descriptions of country as contrasted with town life, and found their subjects amongst the lower classes of the people. The subjects alone were decided upon before the performance began; the dialogue was improvised as it proceeded. The Atellanae contained certain stock characters, like the Italian harlequinades: Maccus (the fool), Bucco (fat-chaps), Pappus (daddy), Dossennus (sharper); monsters and bogeys like Manducus, Pytho, Lamia also made their appearance. The performers were the sons of Roman citizens, who did not lose their rights as citizens, and were allowed to serve in the army: professional actors were excluded. The simple prose dialogues were probably varied by songs in the rude Saturnian metre: the language was that of the common people, accompanied by lively gesticulation and movements. They were characterized by coarseness and obscenity. In the time of Sulla a literary form was given to the Atellanae by Pomponius of Bononia and Novius, who made them regular written comedies. Living persons seem to have been attacked, and even the doings of the gods and heroes of mythology burlesqued. From this time the Atellanae were used as after-pieces and performed by professional actors. In 46 B.C. they were ousted by the mimes, but regained popularity during the reign of Tiberius (chiefly owing to a certain Mummius), until they were definitely superseded by and merged in the mimes. They held their ground in the small towns and villages of Italy during the last days of the empire; they probably lingered on into the middle ages, and were the origin of the Italian _Commedie dell' arte._ Entry: ATELLANAE