"This is lemma 1.1. We start a new chapter so the numbers all go back to one."
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.
The history of human thought recalls the swinging of a pendulum which takes centuries to swing. After a long period of slumber comes a moment of awakening. Then thought frees herself from the chains with which those interested — rulers, lawyers, clerics — have carefully enwound her. She shatters the chains. She subjects to severe criticism all that has been taught her, and lays bare the emptiness of the religious political, legal, and social prejudices amid which she has vegetated. She starts research in new paths, enriches our knowledge with new discoveries, creates new sciences.
And Ivan, on parting from Alyosha, went home to Fyodor Pavlovitch's house. But, strange to say, he was overcome by insufferable depression, which grew greater at every step he took towards the house. There was nothing strange in his being depressed; what was strange was that Ivan could not have said what was the cause of it. He had often been depressed before, and there was nothing surprising at his feeling so at such a moment, when he had broken off with everything that had brought him here, and was preparing that day to make a new start and enter upon a new, unknown future. He would again be as solitary as ever, and though he had great hopes, and great--too great--expectations from life, he could not have given any definite account of his hopes, his expectations, or even his desires.
Seeking the aid of the Holy Spirit, let us aim at perfection. Let every day see some sin crucified, some battle fought, some good done, some victory won; let every fall be followed by a rise, and every step gained become, not a resting-place, but a new >starting-point for further and higher progress.--_Guthrie._
There is a conspicuous void in the arguments and the programs of the counter-culture groups of this country, in that they have produced no well-formulated economic theories…. Unfortunately and ironically, Lou Kelso, who has some very imaginative economic proposals, has been offering them for many years to the establishment, the dinosaur culture….”Two-Factor” economics or “universal capitalism” recognizes the emerging importance of technology, and accepts the diminishing necessity of human labor; it is an economic theory that is beautifully tailored to the values and beliefs of most Catalog readers and those seeking alternatives to dinosaur existence…. These proposals have been laid on presidential candidates, congressmen, newspaper publishers, leading economists, and nearly all key decision makers of the establishment over and over again…. My advice to Lou is: “Come on, Lou, grow long hair, drop all that establishment costumery, immerse yourself in the now generation, and start to work with a constituency that wants you and needs you. [ The Whole Earth Catalog , Spring 1970.]
Goals convert vision into energy. When you lay out exactly what you want to do in detail, you immediately start feeling the room move and the earth shake. You are pulled into your new life like some scene from a movie. Goals help make great men. J. C. Penney once said, “Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you a man who will make history. Give me a man without a goal and I will give you a stock clerk.
People come, people go – they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.
Note how the falcon starts at every sight, / New from his hood, but what a quiet eye / Cometh of freedom.
It was a perfect spring day. The air was sweet and gentle and the sky stretched high, an intense blue. Harold was certain that the last time he had peered through the net drapes of Fossebridge Road (his home), the trees and hedges were dark bones and spindles against the skyline; yet now that he was out, and on his feet, it was as if everywhere he looked, the fields, gardens, trees, and hedgerows and exploded with growth. A canopy of sticky young leaves clung to the branches above him. There were startling yellow clouds of forsythia, trails of purple aubrietia; a young willow shook in a fountain of silver. The first of the potato shoots fingered through the soil, and already tiny buds hung from the gooseberry and currant shrubs like the earrings Maureen used to wear. The abundance of new life was enough to make him giddy.
Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
I remember a passage in Goldsmith's "Vicar of Wakefield," which he was afterwards fool enough to expunge: "I do not love a man who is zealous for nothing." . . . There was another fine passage too which he struck out: "When I was a young man, being anxious to distinguish myself, I was perpetually starting<b> new propositions. But I soon gave this over; for I found that generally what was new was false."
If he’s going to start coming around more, I need to find some flaws to focus on. I study him for a moment but come up empty. He’s flawless. Not even a single zit. New strategy. I will not look at him.
Every new opinion, at its starting, is precisely in a minority of one.
The day after Columbine, I was interviewed... The reporter had been assigned a theory and was seeking sound bites to support it. "Wouldn't you say," she asked, "that killings like this are influenced by violent movies?" No, I said, I wouldn't say that... The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. "Events like this," I said, "if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song … The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous..."
Keep me informed on the behaviour of this kernel.. As the "BugFree(tm)" series didn't turn out too well, I'm starting a new series called the "ItWorksForMe(tm)" series, of which this new kernel is yet another shining example. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.29
"I hate the itching. But I don't mind the swelling." -- new buzz phrase, like "Where's the Beef?" that David Letterman's trying to get everyone to start saying
The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in different city. -- Vance Bourjaily, "Esquire"
Asked how she felt being the first woman to make a major-league team, she said, "Like a pig in mud," or words to that effect, and then turned and released a squirt of tobacco juice from the wad of rum soaked plug in her right cheek. She chewed a rare brand of plug called Stuff It, which she learned to chew when she was playing Nicaraguan summer ball. She told the writers, "They were so mean to me down there you couldn't write it in your
bed. Guys were after me like you can't believe. That's when I started</p>
chewing tobacco -- because no matter how bad anybody treats you, it's not
as bad as this. This is the worst chew in the world. After this,
everything else is peaches and cream." The writers elected Gentleman Jim,
the Sparrow's P.R. guy, to bite off a chunk and tell them how it tasted,
and as he sat and chewed it tears ran down his old sunburnt cheeks and he
couldn't talk for a while. Then he whispered, "You've been chewing this for
two years? God, I had no idea it was so hard to be a woman."
-- Garrison Keillor
=== ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ======================== The garbage collector now works. In addition a new, experimental garbage collection algorithm has been installed. With SI:%DSK-GC-QLX-BITS set to 17, (NOT the default) the old garbage collection algorithm remains in force; when virtual storage is filled, the machine cold boots itself. With SI:%DSK-GC- QLX-BITS set to 23, the new garbage collector is enabled. Unlike most garbage collectors, the new gc starts its mark phase from the mind of the user, rather than from the obarray. This allows the garbage collection of significantly more Qs. As the garbage collector runs, it may ask you something like "Do you remember what SI:RDTBL-TRANS does?", and if you can't give a reasonable answer in thirty seconds, the symbol becomes a candidate for GCing. The variable SI:%GC-QLX-LUSER-TM governs how long the GC waits before timing out the user.
One of the things I routinely tell people is that if it's in the news, don't worry about it. By definition, "news" means that it hardly ever happens. If a risk is in the news, then it's probably not worth worrying about. When something is no longer reported -- automobile deaths, domestic violence -- when it's so common that it's not news, then you should start worrying." -- Bruce Schneier, in _CRYPTO-GRAM_, May 15, 2005.
We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk white BMW and her Jordache smile. There had been a fight. I had punched her boyfriend, who fought the mechanical bulls. Everyone told him, "You ride the bull, senor. You do not fight it." But he was lean and tough like a bad rib-eye and he fought the bull. And then he fought me. And when we finished there were no winners, just men doing what men must do. [...] "Stop the car," the girl said. There was a look of terrible sadness in her eyes. She knew about the woman of the tollway. I knew not how. I started to speak, but she raised an arm and spoke with a quiet and peace I will never forget. "I do not ask for whom's the tollway belle," she said, "the tollway belle's for thee." The next morning our youth was a memory, and our happiness was a lie. Life is like a bad margarita with good tequila, I thought as I poured whiskey onto my granola and faced a new day. -- Peter Applebome, International Imitation Hemingway Competition
The new Linux anthem will be "He's an idiot, but he's ok", as performed by Monthy Python. You'd better start practicing. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
Review Questions (1) If Nerd on the planet Nutley starts out in his spaceship at 20 KPH, and his speed doubles every 3.2 seconds, how long will it be before he exceeds the speed of light? How long will it be before the Galactic Patrol picks up the pieces of his spaceship? (2) If Roger Rowdy wrecks his car every week, and each week he breaks twice as many bones as before, how long will it be before he breaks every bone in his body? How long will it be before they cut off his insurance? Where does he get a new car every week? (3) If Johnson drinks one beer the first hour (slow start), four beers the next hour, nine beers the next, etc., and stacks the cans in a pyramid, how soon will Johnson's pyramid be larger than King Tut's? When will it fall on him? Will he notice?
Now I was heading, in my hot cage, down towards meat-market country on the tip of the West Village. Here the redbrick warehouses double as carcass galleries and rat hives, the Manhattan fauna seeking its necessary level, living or dead. Here too you find the heavy faggot hangouts, The Spike, the Water Closet, the Mother Load. Nobody knows what goes on in these places. Only the heavy faggots know. Even Fielding seems somewhat vague on the question. You get zapped and flogged and dumped on -- by almost anybody's standards, you have a really terrible time. The average patron arrives at the Spike in one taxi but needs to go back to his sock in two. And then the next night he shows up for more. They shackle themselves to racks, they bask in urinals. Their folks have a lot of explaining to do, if you want my opinion, particularly the mums. Sorry to single you ladies out like this but the story must start somewhere. A craving for hourly murder -- it can't be willed. In the meantime, Fielding tells me, Mother Nature looks on and taps her foot and clicks her tongue. Always a champion of monogamy, she is cooking up some fancy
-- Martin Amis, _Money_
_Inter-relation of Syriac Versions._--The relations which subsist between the various Syriac versions remain to be discussed. There is little room for doubt that the Harklean was based on the Philoxenian, and the Philoxenian was based on the Peshito, the revision being made in each case by the help of the Greek MSS. of the day, but the relations which subsist between the Old Syriac, the Diatessaron and the Peshito are a more difficult question. There are now but few, if any, scholars who think that the Peshito is an entirely separate version, and the majority have been convinced by Burkitt and recognize (1) that the Peshito is based on a knowledge of the Old Syriac and the Diatessaron; (2) that it was made by Rabbula with the help of the contemporary Greek text of the Antiochene Church. But there is not yet the same degree of consensus as to the relations between the Old Syriac and the Diatessaron. Here it is necessary to distinguish between the original text of the Old Syriac and the existing MSS. of it--Cur. and Sin. There is no question that many passages in these show signs of Diatessaron influence, but this is only to be expected if we consider that from the end of the 2nd to the beginning of the 5th century the Diatessaron was the popular form of the gospels. A large discount has therefore to be made from the agreements between Diatessaron and Syr. S and C. Still, it is improbable that this will explain everything, and it is generally conceded that the original Diatessaron and the original Old Syriac were in some way connected. The connexion is variously explained, and efforts have been made to show on which side the dependence is to be found. The most probable theory is that of Burkitt. He thinks that the first Syriac translation was that of Tatian (c. A.D. 175), who brought the Diatessaron from Rome and translated it into Syriac. There, in the last days of the 2nd century, when Serapion was bishop of Antioch (A.D. 190-203), a new start was made, and a translation of the "separated Gospels" (_Evangelion da Mepharreshe_) was made from the MSS. which was in use at Antioch. Probably the maker of this version was partly guided, especially in his choice of renderings, by his knowledge of the Diatessaron. Nevertheless, the Diatessaron remained the more popular and was only driven out by Theodoret and Rabbula in the 5th century, when it was replaced by the Peshito. If this theory be correct the Syriac versions represent three distinct Greek texts:--(1) the 2nd-century Greek text from Rome, used by Tatian; (2) the 2nd-century Greek text from Antioch, used for the Old Syriac; (3) the 2nd-century Greek text from Antioch, used by Rabbula for the Peshito. Entry: 7
A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He kept favoring curry.
William Safire's rules for writing as seen in the New York Times Do not put statements in the negative form. And don't start sentences with a conjunction. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration. Last, but not least, avoid cliche's like the plague.
If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are going to start thinking you're from New York. :-) -- Larry Wall to Dan Bernstein in <10187@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
The Worst American Poet Julia Moore, "the Sweet Singer of Michigan" (1847-1920) was so bad that Mark Twain said her first book gave him joy for 20 years. Her verse was mainly concerned with violent death -- the great fire of Chicago and the yellow fever epidemic proved natural subjects for her pen. Whether death was by drowning, by fits or by runaway sleigh, the formula was the same: Have you heard of the dreadful fate Of Mr. P. P. Bliss and wife? Of their death I will relate, And also others lost their life (in the) Ashbula Bridge disaster, Where so many people died. Even if you started out reasonably healthy in one of Julia's poems, the chances are that after a few stanzas you would be at the bottom of a river or struck by lightning. A critic of the day said she was "worse than a Gatling gun" and in one slim volume counted 21 killed and 9 wounded. Incredibly, some newspapers were critical of her work, even suggesting that the sweet singer was "semi-literate". Her reply was forthright: "The Editors that has spoken in this scandalous manner have went beyond reason." She added that "literary work is very difficult to do". -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake up several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they've been indicted for anything. You want your guests to be so anxious to avoid a recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning parties of their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having another one ... If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door, unless your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas through your living room window. As host, your job is to make sure that they don't arrest anybody. Or if they're dead set on arresting someone, your job is to make sure it isn't you ... -- Dave Barry
"This is lemma 1.1. We start a new chapter so the numbers all go back to one." -- Prof. Seager, C&O 351
CORK, RICHARD BOYLE, 1ST EARL OF (1566-1643), Irish statesman, second son of Roger Boyle of Faversham in Kent, a descendant of an ancient Herefordshire family, and of Joan, daughter of Robert Naylor of Canterbury, was born at Canterbury on the 3rd of October 1566, and was educated at the King's school and at Bennet (Corpus Christi) College, Cambridge, where he was admitted in 1583. He afterwards studied law at the Middle Temple and became clerk to Sir Richard Manwood, chief baron of the exchequer; but finding his position offered little opportunity for advancement he determined to make a new start in Ireland. He landed in Dublin on the 23rd of June 1588, as he relates himself, with £27, 3s. in money, a gold bracelet worth £10, and a diamond ring, besides some fine wearing apparel. He began to make his fortune almost immediately. In 1590 he obtained the appointment of deputy escheator to John Crofton, the escheator-general, and in 1595 he married Joan, daughter and co-heiress of William Appsley of Limerick, who died in 1599, having brought him an estate of £500 a year. Entry: CORK
ACTON'S LAW Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. ALBRECHT'S LAW Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being. ALLEN'S (or CANN'S) AXIOM When all else fails, read the instructions. BOREN'S FIRST LAW When in doubt, mumble. BOVE'S THEOREM The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches. BOWIE'S THEOREM If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. BROOK'S LAW Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. CANADA BILL JONES' MOTTO It's morally wrong to allow naive end users to keep their money. CANN'S (or ALLEN'S) AXIOM When all else fails, read the instructions. CARLSON'S CONSOLATION Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example. CLARKE'S THIRD LAW Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. COLE'S LAW Thinly sliced cabbage. COHN'S LAW The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing. CONWAY'S LAW In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired. LAW OF CONTINUITY Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way. CORRESPONDENCE COROLLARY An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory. CROPP'S LAW The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office. CUTLER WEBSTER'S LAW There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one. DEADLINE-DAN'S DEMO DEMONSTRATION The higher the "higher-ups" are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one. DEMIAN'S OBSERVATION There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE". DENNISTON'S LAW Virtue is its own punishment. DOW'S LAW In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion. DR. CALIGARI'S COME-BACK A bad sector disk error occurs only after you've done several hours of work without performing a backup. ESTRIDGE'S LAW No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine it. FINAGLE'S LAWS 1) Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. 2) No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it. 3) No matter what the result, someone is always eager to misinterpret it. 4) No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory. FINAGLE'S RULES 1) To study an application best, understand it thoroughly before you start. 2) Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working. 3) Always draw your curves, then plot the reading. 4) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing. 5) Program results should always be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way. 6) Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them. FINSTER'S LAW A closed mouth gathers no feet. FIRST RULE OF HISTORY History doesn't repeat itself --- historians merely repeat each other. FRANKLIN'S PARAPHRASE OF POPE'S LAW Praised be the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will never be disappointed. GILB'S LAWS OF UNRELIABILITY 1) At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. 2) Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. 3) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. 4) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done. GLYME'S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. THE GOLDEN RULE Whoever has the gold makes the rules. GOLD'S LAW If the shoe fits, it's ugly. GORDON'S FIRST LAW If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well. GOVERNMENT'S LAW There is an exception to all laws. GREEN'S LAW OF DEBATE Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. GUMMIDGES'S LAW The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public. GUMPERSON'S LAW The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability. HANLON'S RAZOR Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. HARP'S COROLLARY TO ESTRIDGE'S LAW Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment. HARRISON'S POSTULATE For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. HELLER'S LAW The first myth of management is that it exists. HINDS' LAW OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING 1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 2) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 3) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 4) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. 5) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 6) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it. 7) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, andyou will find that programmers cannot write in English. HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROGRAMS Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out. HOPPER'S AXIOM (Admiral Grace Hopper, USN, who discovered the first computer "bug" in the 1940's---an actual insect) It's better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. HUBBARD'S LAW Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive. JENKINSON'S LAW It won't work. JOHNSON-LAIRD'S LAW Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night. LARKINSON'S LAW All laws are basically false. THE LAST ONE'S LAW OF PROGRAM GENERATORS A program generator creates programs that are more "buggy" than the program generator. LIEBERMAN'S LAW Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. LYNCH'S LAW When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. MASON'S FIRST LAW OF SYNERGISM The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut. MAY'S LAW The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density of control. (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.) MENCKEN'S LAW There is always an easy answer to every human problem --- neat, plausible, and wrong. MESKIMEN'S LAW There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over. MUIR'S LAW When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. MURPHY'S LAWS 1) If anything can go wrong, it will (and at the worst possible moment). 2) Nothing is as easy as it looks. 3) Everything takes longer than you think it will. MURPHY'S FOURTH LAW If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. MURPHY'S LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS 1) You can't win, 2) You can't break even, 3) And you can't get out of the game. ALSO: Things get worse under pressure. NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent. NIXON'S THEOREM The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on. NOLAN'S PLACEBO An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. OLIVER'S LAW OF LOCATION No matter where you are, there you are. O'REILLY'S LAW OF THE KITCHEN Cleanliness is next to impossible. OSBORN'S LAW Variables won't, constants aren't. O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW Murphy was an optimist. PARKINSON'S LAW Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. PARKINSON'S LAW (MODIFIED) The components you have will expand to fill the available space. PEER'S LAW The solution to a problem changes the problem. PETER'S PRINCIPLE In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of his incompetence. THE LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF NATURE You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. PUDDER'S LAW Anything that begins well will end badly. [Note: The converse of Pudder's law is not true.] RHODE'S COROLLARY TO HOARE'S LAW Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to be free. ROBERT E. LEE'S TRUCE Judgment comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgment. RUDIN'S LAW In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course. RULE OF ACCURACY When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer. RYAN'S LAW Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert. SATTINGER'S LAW It works better if you plug it in. SAUSAGE PRINCIPLE People who love sausage and respect the law should watch neither being made. SHAW'S PRINCIPLE Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. SNAFU EQUATIONS 1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns. 2) The object or bit of information most needed will be the least available. 3) The device requiring service or adjustment will be the least accessible. 4) Interchangeable devices aren't. 5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else. 6) Badness comes in waves. STEWART'S LAW OF RETROACTION It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. THOREAU'S THEORIES OF ADAPTATION 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar "bug" in the system, the system is revised, the "bug" taken away, and you're left with a useless routine. 3) Efforts in improving a program's "user friendliness" invariably lead to work in improving user's "computer literacy". 4) That's not a "bug", that's a feature! THYME'S LAW Everything goes wrong at once. THE LAW OF THE TOO SOLID GOOF In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct beyond all need of checking are the figures that contain the errors. Corollary 1: No one you ask for help will see the error either. Corollary 2: Any nagging intruder, who stops by with unsought advice, will spot it immediately. UNNAMED LAW If it happens, it must be possible. WEILER'S LAW Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work. WEINBERG'S COROLLARY An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy. WEINBERG'S LAW If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. WHITEHEAD'S LAW The obvious answer is always overlooked. WILCOX'S LAW A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. WOOD'S AXIOM As soon as a still-to-be-finished computer task becomes a life-or-death situation, the power fails. WOODWARD'S LAW A theory is better than its explanation. ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.
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