"How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
There is something we don't like, though. It's when people call us Indians and then start calling sports teams and other things Indians. If we're going to have a false name, at least let us have it and then leave it alone. Don't start putting it on beer bottles and ice cream cartons and making it into something that embarrasses us and makes us look like fools. And don't tell us it's supposed to be some honor to us. We'll decide what honors us and what doesn't.
Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
"How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "FIFTEEN!! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"
He also graved on it a fallow field Rich, spacious, and well-till'd. Plowers not few, There driving to and fro their sturdy teams, Labor'd the land; and oft as in their course They came to the field's bourn, so oft a man Met them, who in their hands a goblet placed Charged with delicious wine. They, turning, wrought Each his own furrow, and impatient seem'd To reach the border of the tilth, which black Appear'd behind them as a glebe new-turn'd, Though golden. Sight to be admired by all!
"Is there any one in this village who lets out teams?"
"Well, by taking post-horses, Monsieur cannot reach Arras before to-morrow. We are on a cross-road. The relays are badly served, the horses are in the fields. The season for ploughing is just beginning; heavy teams are required, and horses are seized upon everywhere, from the post as well as elsewhere. Monsieur will have to wait three or four hours at the least at every relay. And, then, they drive at a walk. There are many hills to ascend."
We got there in about a half an hour fairly dripping, for it was a most awful hot day. There was as much as a thousand people there from twenty mile around. The woods was full of teams and wagons, hitched everywheres, feeding out of the wagon-troughs and stomping to keep off the flies. There was sheds made out of poles and roofed over with branches, where they had lemonade and gingerbread to sell, and piles of watermelons and green corn and such-like truck.
"Expenses of carriage? What can be done with it in a town of less than four thousand inhabitants? Expenses of journeys? What is the use of these trips, in the first place? Next, how can the posting be accomplished in these mountainous parts? There are no roads. No one travels otherwise than on horseback. Even the bridge between Durance and Chateau-Arnoux can barely support ox-teams. These priests are all thus, greedy and avaricious. This man played the good priest when he first came. Now he does like the rest; he must have a carriage and a posting-chaise, he must have luxuries, like the bishops of the olden days. Oh, all this priesthood! Things will not go well, M. le Comte, until the Emperor has freed us from these black-capped rascals. Down with the Pope! [Matters were getting embroiled with Rome.] For my part, I am for Caesar alone." Etc., etc.
Cricket has never flourished vigorously in Scotland, Ireland or Wales, a fact that may partly be accounted for by the comparative difficulty of obtaining good grounds in those parts of the kingdom, and by the inferiority, for the purpose of cricket, of their climate. In the south of Scotland, and especially in the neighbourhood of Edinburgh, there are clubs which keep the game alive; and Scotland, though it has produced no great cricketers, either amateur or professional, has sent a few players to the English university elevens who have found places in English county teams. In Ireland cricket is fairly popular, especially in those parts of the island where local sides can obtain assistance from soldiers quartered in the neighbourhood. One or two counties play annual matches, that between Kildare and Cork in particular exciting keen rivalry. Trinity College, Dublin, has turned out some excellent players; and the Phoenix and Leinster clubs in Dublin, and the North of Ireland club in Belfast, play a full programme of matches every season. D. N. Trotter, who played for county Meath for many years towards the close of the 19th century, was a batsman who would have found a place in any English county eleven; so also would William Hone, one of several brothers all of whom were keen and skilful cricketers. About the same period Lieutenant Dunn scored so many centuries in Irish cricket that he was played, though without any great success, for his native county of Surrey. More recently L. H. Gwynn (1873-1902) batted in a style and with a success that proved him capable of great things. Sir T. C. O'Brien, though an Irishman, belongs as a cricketer to Middlesex; but T. C. Ross, who was chosen to play for Gentlemen v. Players at Lord's in 1902, was a bowler who played regularly for county Kildare. Entry: A
HOUSE (O. Eng. _hús_, a word common to Teutonic languages, cf. Dut. _huis_, Ger. _Haus_; in Gothic it is only found in _gudhûs_, a temple; it may be ultimately connected with the root of "hide," conceal), the dwelling-place of a human being (treated, from the architectural point of view, below), or, in a transferred sense, of an animal, particularly of one whose abode, like that of the beaver, is built by the animal itself, or, like that of the snail, resembles in some fancied way a human dwelling. Apart from the numerous compound uses of the word, denoting the purpose for which a building is employed, such as custom-house, lighthouse, bakehouse, greenhouse and the like, there may be mentioned the particular applications to a chamber of a legislative body, the Houses of Parliament, House of Representatives, &c.; to the upper and lower assemblies of convocation; and to the colleges at a university; the heads of these foundations, known particularly as master, principal, president, provost, rector, &c., are collectively called heads of houses. At English public schools a "house" is the usual unit of the organization. In the "houses" the boys sleep, have their "studies" and their meals, if the school is arranged on the "boarding-house" system. The houses have their representative teams in the school games, but have no place in the educational class-system of the school. It may be noticed that in Scotland the words "house" and "tenement" are used in a way distinct from the English use, "tenement" being applied to the large block containing "houses," portions, i.e., occupied by separate families. "The House" is the name colloquially given to such different institutions as the London Stock Exchange, the House of Commons or Lords and to a workhouse. Entry: HOUSE
The Germantown, Belmont, Merion and Philadelphia Clubs play annually for the Halifax Cup, and the game is controlled by the Associated Cricket clubs of Philadelphia. In the neighbourhood of New York matches are arranged by the Metropolitan District Cricket League and the New York Cricket Association; similar organizations are the Northwestern, the California and the Massachusetts associations, while the Intercollegiate Cricket League consists of college teams representing Harvard, Pennsylvania and Haverford. R. S. Newhall (b. 1852) and D. S. Newhall (b. 1849) may almost claim to be the fathers of cricket in the United States; while D. W. Saunders (b. 1862) did much for the game in Canada. Other eminent names in American cricket are A. M. Wood; H. Livingston, of the Pittsburg Club, who scored three centuries in one week in 1907; H. V. Hordern, University of Pennsylvania, a very successful bowler; J. B. King, who in 1906 made 344 not out for Belmont v. Merion, and who as a fast bowler proved most effective during two tours in England. At San Francisco in 1894 W. Robertson and A. G. Sheath compiled a total of 340 without the loss of a wicket, the former scoring 206 not out, and the latter 118 not out. A large number of English cricket teams have visited the United States and Canada. The first county to do so was Kent in 1904, in which year the Philadelphians also made a tour in England, in the course of which J. B. King (b. 1873) took 93 wickets at an average cost of 14 runs, and proved himself the best all-round man on the side. P. H. Clark (b. 1873), a clever fast bowler, and J. A. Lester (b. 1872), the captain of the team, also showed themselves to be cricketers of merit, while N. Z. Graves (b. 1880) and F. H. Bohlen (b. 1868) were quite up to English county form. The team did not, however, include G. S. Patterson (b. 1868), one of the best batsmen in America. The Philadelphians again visited Great Britain in 1908, when they won 7 out of 14 matches, one being drawn. On this tour King surpassed his former English record by taking 115 wickets, and Wood, who played one fine innings of 132, was the most successful of the American batsmen. Entry: A
English fencers who were members of these international teams were Lord Desborough, Theodore A. Cook, Bowden, Cecil Haig, J. Norbury, Jr., R. Montgomerie, John Jenkinson, F. Townsend, W.H.C. Staveley, S. Martineau, C.L. Daniell, W. Godden, Captain Haig, M.D.V. Holt, Edgar Seligman, C. Newton-Robinson, A.V. Buckland, P.M. Davson, E.M. Amphlett and L.V. Fildes. In 1906 a British épée team of four, consisting of Lord Desborough, Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon, Bart., Edgar Seligman and C. Newton-Robinson, with Lord Howard de Walden and Theodore Cook as reserves (the latter acting as captain of the team), went to Athens to compete in the international match at the Olympic games. After defeating the Germans rather easily, the team opposed and worsted the Belgians. It thus found itself matched against the French in the final, the Greek team having been beaten by the French and the Dutch eliminated by the Belgians. After a very close fight the result was officially declared a tie. This was the first occasion upon which an English fencing team had encountered a French one of the first rank upon even terms. In fighting off the tie, however, the French were awarded the first prize and the Englishmen the second. Entry: ÉPÉE
For the object of the survey we have three sources of information: (1) the passage in the English Chronicle, which tells us why it was ordered, (2) the list of questions which the jurors were asked, as preserved in the _Inquisitio Eliensis_, (3) the contents of Domesday Book and the allied records mentioned above. Although these can by no means be reconciled in every detail, it is now generally recognized that the primary object of the survey was to acertain and record the fiscal rights of the king. These were mainly (1) the national land-tax (_geldum_), paid on a fixed assessment, (2) certain miscellaneous dues, (3) the proceeds of the crown lands. After a great political convulsion such as the Norman conquest, and the wholesale confiscation of landed estates which followed it, it was William's interest to make sure that the rights of the crown, which he claimed to have inherited, had not suffered in the process. More especially was this the case as his Norman followers were disposed to evade the liabilities of their English predecessors. The Domesday survey therefore recorded the names of the new holders of lands and the assessments on which their tax was to be paid. But it did more than this; by the king's instructions it endeavoured to make a national valuation list, estimating the annual value of all the land in the country, (1) at the time of King Edward's death, (2) when the new owners received it, (3) at the time of the survey, and further, it reckoned, by command, the potential value as well. It is evident that William desired to know the financial resources of his kingdom, and probable that he wished to compare them with the existing assessment, which was one of considerable antiquity, though there are traces that it had been occasionally modified. The great bulk of Domesday Book is devoted to the somewhat arid details of the assessment and valuation of rural estates, which were as yet the only important source of national wealth. After stating the assessment of the manor, the record sets forth the amount of arable land, and the number of plough-teams (each reckoned at eight oxen) available for working it, with the additional number (if any) that might be employed; then the river-meadows, woodland, pasture, fisheries (i.e. weirs in the streams), water-mills, saltpans (if by the sea) and other subsidiary sources of revenue; the peasants are enumerated in their several classes; and finally the annual value of the whole, past and present, is roughly estimated. It is obvious that, both in its values and in its measurements, the survey's reckoning is very crude. Entry: DOMESDAY
In the year 1871 the English Rugby Union was founded in London. This Union was an association of some clubs and schools which joined together and appointed a committee and officials to draw up a code of rules of the game. From this beginning the English Rugby Union has become the governing body of Rugby football in England, and has been joined by practically all the Rugby clubs in England, and deals with all matters connected with Rugby football, notably the choosing of the international teams. In 1873 the Scottish Football Union was founded in Edinburgh on the same lines, and with the same objects, while in 1880 the Welsh Football Union, and in 1881 the Irish Rugby Football Union, were established as the national Unions of Wales and Ireland, though in both countries there had been previously Unions not thoroughly representative of the country. All these Unions became the chief governing body within their own country, and one of their functions was to make the rules and laws of the game; but as this had been done to start with by the English Union, the others adopted the English rules, with amendments to them from time to time. This state of affairs had one element of weakness--viz. that since all the Unions made their own rules, if ever a dispute should arise between any of them, a dead-lock was almost certain to ensue. Such a dispute did occur in 1884 between the English and Scottish Unions. This dispute eventually turned on the question of the right of the English Union to make and interpret the rules of the game, and to be the paramount authority in the game, and superior to the other Unions. Scotland, Ireland and Wales resisted this claim, and finally, in 1889, Lord Kingsburgh and Major Marindin were appointed as a commission to settle the dispute. The result was the establishment of the International Board, which consists of representatives from each Union--six from England, two from each of the others--whose duties were to settle any question that might arise between the different Unions, and to settle the rules under which international matches were to be played, these rules being invariably adopted by the various Unions as the rules of the game. Entry: 1
Let us attempt to call up the scene which Olympia in its palmy days must have presented as the great festival approached. Heralds had proclaimed throughout Greece the "truce of God." So religiously was this observed that the Spartans chose to risk the liberties of Greece, when the Persians were at the gates of Pylae, rather than march during the holy days. Those white tents which stand out against the sombre grey of the olive groves belong to the Hellanodicae, or ten judges of the games, chosen one for each tribe of the Eleians. They have been here already ten months, receiving instruction in their duties. All, too, or most of the athletes must have arrived, for they have been undergoing the indispensable training in the gymnasium of the Altis. But along the "holy road" from the town of Elis there are crowding a motley throng. Conspicuous in the long train of pleasure-seekers are the [Greek: theôroi] or sacred deputies, clad in their robes of office, and bearing with them in their carriages of state offerings to the shrine of the god. Nor is there any lack of distinguished visitors. It may be Alcibiades, who, they say, has entered no less than seven chariots; or Gorgias, who has written a famous [Greek: epideixis] for the occasion; or the sophist Hippias, who boasts that all he bears about him, from the sandals on his feet to the dithyrambs he carries in his hand, are his own manufacture; or Aetion, who will exhibit his picture of the Marriage of Alexander and Roxana--the picture which gained him no less a prize than the daughter of the Hellanodices Praxonides; or, in an earlier age, the poet-laureate of the Olympians, Pindar himself. One feature of the medieval tournament and the modern racecourse is wanting. Women might indeed compete and win prizes as the owners of teams, but all except the priestesses of Demeter were forbidden, matrons on pain of death, to enter the enclosure. Entry: GAMES
_Australian Cricket._--Naturally popular in a British colony, cricket made but little progress in Australia before the arrival of an English professional eleven in 1861-1862, which carried all before it. Subsequent visits, and the coaching of imported professionals, so promoted the game that in 1878 a representative eleven of Australians visited England. The visits were repeated biennially till 1890, and then triennially. The visits of the Australian teams to England aroused unparalleled interest and acted as an immense incentive to the game. A great sensation was caused when the first team, captained by D. W. Gregory, on the 27th of May 1878, defeated a powerful M.C.C. eleven in a single day, disposing of them for 33 and 19, the fast bowler F. R. Spofforth (b. 1853) taking 6 wickets for 4 runs, and H. F. Boyle (b. 1847) 5 for 3. Their prowess was well maintained when in September 1880 Australia for the first time met the whole strength of England, such matches between representatives of Australia and England being known as "test matches," a term that was applied later to matches between England and South Africans also. Although in 1880 the old country won by 5 wickets, the honours were fairly divided, especially as Spofforth could not play. Dr W. G. Grace with a score of 152 headed the total of 420, but even finer was the Australian captain W. L. Murdoch's imperturbable display, when he carried his bat for 153. From 1882 onwards the Colonials, with two exceptions, at Blackpool and Skegness, only played eleven-a-side matches. Such bowlers as Spofforth, Boyle, G. E. Palmer (b. 1861), T. W. Garrett (b. 1858), and G. Giffen (1859) became household names. Nor was the batting less admirable, for Murdoch was supported by H. H. Massie (b. 1854), P. S. McDonnell (1860-1896), A. C. Bannerman (b. 1859), T. Horan (b. 1855), C. J. Bonnor (b. 1855), and S. P. Jones (b. 1861), whilst the wicket-keeper was McCarthy Blackham (b. 1855). This visiting side in 1882 was the greatest team of all; 23 matches were won, only 4 lost, and England was defeated at the Oval by 7 runs. In 1884 English cricket had improved, and the visiting record was hardly so good. The match against England at the Oval will not soon be forgotten. The Colonials scored 551 (Murdoch 211, McDonnell 103, Scott 102), and England responded with 346, Scotton and W. W. Read adding 151 for the ninth wicket. Entry: A
Most of these field armies were in a miserable condition owing to the losses and fatigues of the last campaign. The treasury was empty and credit exhausted, and worse still--for spirit and enthusiasm, as in 1794, would have remedied material deficiencies--the conscripts obtained under Jourdan's law of 1798 (see CONSCRIPTION) came to their regiments most unwillingly. Most of them, indeed, deserted on the way to join the colours. A large draft sent to the Army of Italy arrived with 310 men instead of 10,250, and after a few such experiences, the First Consul decided that the untrained men were to be assembled in the fortresses of the interior and afterwards sent to the active battalions in numerous small drafts, which they could more easily assimilate. Besides accomplishing the immense task of reorganizing existing forces, he created new ones, including the Consular Guard, and carried out at this moment of crisis two such far-reaching reforms as the replacement of the civilian drivers of the artillery by soldiers, and of the hired teams by horses belonging to the state, and the permanent grouping of divisions in army corps. Entry: MARENGO
The Klondike, in spite of its isolated position, brought together miners and adventurers from all parts of the world, and it is greatly to the credit of the Canadian government and of the mounted police, who were entrusted with the keeping of order, that life and property were as safe as elsewhere and that no lawless methods were adopted by the miners as in placer mining camps in the western United States. The region was at first difficult of access, but can now be reached with perfect comfort in summer, travelling by well-appointed steamers on the Pacific and the Yukon River. Owing to its perpetually frozen soil, summer roads were excessively bad in earlier days, but good wagon roads have since been constructed to all the important mining centres. Dawson itself has all the resources of a civilized city in spite of being founded on a frozen peat-bog; and is supplied with ordinary market vegetables from farms just across the river. During the winter, when for some time the sun does not appear above the hills, the cold is intense, though usually without wind, but the well-chinked log houses can be kept comfortably warm. When winter travel is necessary dog teams and sledges are generally made use of, except on the stage route south to White Horse, where horses are used. A telegraph line connects Dawson with British Columbia, but the difficulties in keeping it in order are so great over the long intervening wilderness that communication is often broken. Gold is practically the only economic product of the Klondike, though small amounts of tin ore occur, and lignite coal has been mined lower down on the Yukon. The source of the gold seems to have been small stringers of quartz in the siliceous and sericitic schists which form the bed rock of much of the region, and no important quartz veins have been discovered; so that unlike most other placer regions the Klondike has not developed lode mines to continue the production of gold when the gravels are exhausted. Entry: KLONDIKE
It was not until near the end of the 19th century that gymnastics were recognized in England as anything more than a recreation; their value as a specifically therapeutic agent, or as an article in the curriculum of elementary schools, was not realized. More recently, however, educationists have urged with increasing insistence the need for systematic physical training, and their views received greater attention when evidence of deterioration in the physique of the people began to accumulate. During the first decade of the 20th century more than one commission reported to parliament in England in favour of more systematic and general physical training being encouraged or even made compulsory by public authority. Voluntary associations were formed for encouraging such training and providing facilities for it. Gymnastics had already for several years been an essential part of the training of army recruits with exceedingly beneficial results, and gymnasia had been established at Aldershot and other military centres. Physical exercises, although not compulsory, obtained a permanent place in the code for elementary schools in Great Britain; and much care has been taken to provide a syllabus of exercises adapted for the improvement of the physique of the children. These exercises are partly gymnastic and partly of the nature of drill; they do not in most cases require the use of appliances, and are on that account known as "free movements," which numbers of children go through together, accompanied whenever possible by music. On the other hand at the larger public schools and universities there are elaborate gymnasia equipped with a great variety of apparatus, the skilful use of which demands assiduous practice; and this is encouraged by annual contests between teams of gymnasts representing rival institutions. Entry: GYMNASTICS
_School and Club Cricket._--Cricket is the standing summer game at every English private and public school, where it is taught as carefully and systematically as either classics or mathematics. There are also numbers of amateur clubs which possess no grounds of their own and are connected with no particular locality, but which are in fact mere associations of cricketers who play matches against the universities, schools or local teams, or against each other. Of these the best known, perhaps, is I Zingari (The Wanderers), popularly known as I.Z., whose well-known colours, red, yellow and black stripes, are prized rather as a social than as a cricketing distinction. This club was founded in 1845 by Lorraine Baldwin and Sir Spencer Ponsonby-Fane. The first rule of the club humorously declares that "the entrance fee shall be nothing, and the annual subscription shall not exceed the entrance fee." It is a rule of the club that no member shall play on the opposing side. I.Z. has long been connected with the social festivities forming a feature of the "Canterbury Week," a cricket festival held at Canterbury during the first week in August, of the Scarborough week, and of the Dublin horse-show. Dr W. G. Grace, who almost invariably appeared in the cricket field wearing the red and yellow stripes of the M.C.C., and some other notable amateurs, never belonged to I.Z. or any similar club; but Dr Grace was instrumental in the formation of the London county club, whose ground was at the Crystal Palace at Sydenham. Other amateur clubs, similar to I Zingari, are the Free Foresters, Incogniti, Etceteras, and in Ireland Na Shuler; while the Eton Ramblers, Harrow Wanderers, Old Wykehamists, and others are clubs whose membership is restricted to "old boys." Entry: A